Nickname Seeks Former Player: Vote on “I Denouce This Man”

The nomination process, which involved furious denunciations and copious amounts of the dirty-dirty, is complete. Now you may select from the 10 names that follow. The desperate question before us: Who, because he is a rank maroon, should be nicknamed “I Denounce This Man”?

Thank you for exercising the franchise.

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14 Responses to “Nickname Seeks Former Player: Vote on “I Denouce This Man””

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  1. Well-Beered Englishman says:

    There’s something about Curt Schilling which makes him eminently more denounceable than even the likes of Elijah Dukes or Jose Canseco. Perhaps because, for me, Dukes and Canseco still induce some measure of genuine pity. I cannot think “the poor stupid bastard” about Curt Schilling. He wore his bastardy with pride.

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  2. Jason Kramer says:

    Of course John Rocker and Ty Cobb are despicable. There’s no need to publicly denounce them. Schilling, on the other hand, has a fraudulent air of respectability, necessitating the need to publicly denounce him. I denounce this man.

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  3. martyn says:

    Dee Wallace-Stone was quite the looker in her day.

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  4. sporkless says:

    Write in: Lenny Dykstra

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    • Jim says:

      I was just wondering why Lenny Dykstra wasn’t on the list!

      Also: Kevin Mitchell. He’s the only former MVP I know who decapitated a kitten and then threatened a former Cy Young winner while holding a twelve inch knife and a bleeding kitten head.

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  5. deadhead says:

    I guess I’ll vote for Knoblauch since Gene Larkin isn’t on the ballot.

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  6. Mrs. Cistulli says:

    Oh dear, Carson called home and said he was writing in Bobo Clemente’s name for the “I denounce this man” nickname. The shame he has brought the family name. He practices the dark arts, supports terror and rolls hobos for their cans of beans. The shame.

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    • YHWH says:

      Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. The LORD of HOSTS read that posting – I AM knows what you did, Carson…you and that foul, uncircumcised member.

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  7. Erik Archer says:

    Jeff Kent and you damn well know it.

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  8. Mr. Observant says:

    Jonah Keri! Jonah Keri! Jonah Keri! Who cares if he was never a former MLB player. That was never explicitly specified in the rules. He played baseball when he was a kid. Keri is a pretentious idiot who ‘discovered’ the Rays and writes obvious, insufferable dribble on Grantland. Also, as a Canadian, he’s a national embarrassment and a poutine-gobbling douchewad to his fellow Canucks, like me. Keri is an infected vaginal bloodclot and needs to be brought out to the pillory like the shameless whore of Babylon he has become.

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  9. nubillybaroo says:

    Ray Knight, you bastardly bastich!

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