Nickname Seeks Player: “Frog in the Pot”

Our ongoing quest, in the manner of the noble knight-errant, is to assign players to cool nicknames rather than indulge in the tired, shopworn paradigm of assigning nicknames to cool players.

First, though, a brief jaunt through our Nickname Seeks Player Vaulted Halls of Honor:

Bad Miracle” – Wily Mo Peña
Captain Black Tobacco” – John Danks
$45 Couch” – Yuniesky Betancourt
Liván Hernández” – Liván Hernández

The nickname up for grabs in this episode? It’s “Frog in the Pot”!

“Frog in the Pot” comes to us by way of the most excellent Don Malcolm, who coined it, in passing, over in this BBTF thread. Frog in the damn pot!


Denotations, Connotations, Implications, Intimations, and Incriminations
:

Mr. Malcolm used it to refer to James Loney, who is like a Frog in the Pot because he’s “slowly fried to death as his decline (the increasing water temperature) proceeds by increments.” So the “slow boil of failure” is one possible defining characteristic of the “Frog in the Pot.”

It could also be a player who looks or sounds funny because “Frog in a Pot” is funny. At least until the burner gets fired up.

As well, if Arnold Lobel’s “Frog and Toad” series is any guide — and it is — then the frog is a stabilizing, clear-headed entity. So think of a team leader who slowly boils to death.

Failing any of that, think of a player who embodies what we talk about when talk about frogs.

Prototypes from Baseball’s Gauzy Past:

If Bill Pulsipher didn’t slowly boil to death, then I don’t know who did. Don Mossi kind of looked like a frog. So did Wally Moon. And Benjie Molina is pretty clearly what we talk about when we talk about frogs.


Guiding, Determinative Query
:

Which current major-league player should be nicknamed “Frog in the Pot”?

The convention floor, which is covered in freshly steam-cleaned Oasis Blue shag carpeting, is hereby open for nominations …




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24 Responses to “Nickname Seeks Player: “Frog in the Pot””

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  1. James Lewis says:

    Jon Rauch

    Every time he takes the mound (is in the pot) everyone knows its going to end badly – except of course Rauch (the frog). He muddles around with the pressure rising, and when he finally seems to notice the heat, he’s already cooked.

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  2. Morse says:

    A.J. Burnett

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  3. buddy says:

    I was hoping this would be “Frog In Heat”. I am so disappointed that I refuse to nominate anyone.

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  4. TheGrandslamwich says:

    This is the first time no player immediately came to mind. Briefly Markakis was my front runner but I still don’t think he fits.

    As such I will refrain from voting on this nickname. Thank you for your 20 seconds of wasted time reading this.

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  5. Jay says:

    Jason Bay.

    Flailed around a little when he first got thrown in the water (04-06) but cooking up quite nicely now.

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  6. Corey says:

    Ichiro

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  7. TC says:

    My first thought was Carlos zambrano. He has always seemed to get incrementally worse over time. First, he was great, and then just ok, an then he lost a bunch of velocity, and is now pretty much average in every way. More importantly, he has for years been in the slowly warming pot that is the Chicago media, who have been turning up the heat on him with every blow-up. So he fits the description of being boiled by his decline and by the media in the city he pitches in….he doesn’t really fit the “team leader” aspect anymore, but for a while he was a leader on his team.

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  8. TheBigDawg says:

    Delmon Young. He underachieved so badly in Minnesota, he was traded for a few mediocre minor leaguers.

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  9. Me says:

    Brian Roberts

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  10. ettin says:

    Apparently it is the entire roster of the 2011 Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim… :(

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  11. hawkinscm says:

    Vernon Wells, Alex Rios, Torii Hunter

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  12. filihok says:

    My first thought was along the lines of the first commenter.

    A frog in a pot it surrounded by trouble. So I was thinking someone along the lines of Carlos Marmol or Brian Fuentes who seem to pitch themselves into a lot of trouble.

    Or Jeff Francoeur, cause he’s French.

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  13. Del B. Vista says:

    Henry Rodriguez.

    He throws 100 mph fastballs (100 is boiling on the Celsius scale), and every time he comes in to pitch, the amount of trouble he’s in keeps building, and building and building, walk by wild pitch by walk by wild pitch by walk.

    And if he wins, you can embedden this video: http://mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=17221151, which is awesome for 1) Vin Scully, b) Flinching Fans, and 3) The Durham Bull Smelling Fear.

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  14. bgrosnick says:

    Justin Turner

    Hear me out. He’s small, scrappy, and plays like his hair is on fire…or is made out of fire…or something like that. He’s probably going to be jumping in (and out) of major league lineups / rosters / AAA (read: pots?) for most of his major league career, as he’s not an elite player.

    Oh, and he’s also bright red. I assume that’s the color of scalded frog.

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  15. Chris says:

    First(and only) player I thought of was Jorge Posada, who has been in the process of boiling in the pot and screaming about line-up positions in the mean time. I think he’ll be cooked here in a minute.

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  16. donquixote says:

    Javier Vasquez. He is a frog trapped in a pot. He should be able to jump out of it and achieve greatness, but he can’t. Instead, he melts down against the Padres and produces productions of the Broadway show A Bronx Fail.

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  17. Redlegs11 says:

    Todd Coffey

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  18. Mike says:

    Daniel Murphy

    When he’s on the bases, he’s agile, excited… and completely clueless, hopping around like a frog surrounded by a cylindrical metal wall.

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  19. Scott Kazmir's Talent says:

    Bobby Jenks

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  20. glassSheets says:

    James Loney

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  21. Kyle Lobner says:

    Mark Kotsay might be baseball’s most overcooked frog.

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  22. Mr Ed says:

    Kotsay is a good pick. I like Frenchy Francoeur even better. Todd Coffey is good for a pitcher. Think the kind of guy who is still a free agent in March and yet some turkey GM signs him anyway. Every year. Probably a lefty reliever.

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