Our ongoing quest, in the manner of the noble knight-errant, is to assign players to cool nicknames rather than indulge in the tired, shopworn paradigm of assigning nicknames to cool players.
First, though, a brief jaunt through our Nickname Seeks Player Vaulted Halls of Honor:
The nickname up for grabs in this episode? It’s “Frog in the Pot”!
Denotations, Connotations, Implications, Intimations, and Incriminations:
Mr. Malcolm used it to refer to James Loney, who is like a Frog in the Pot because he’s “slowly fried to death as his decline (the increasing water temperature) proceeds by increments.” So the “slow boil of failure” is one possible defining characteristic of the “Frog in the Pot.”
It could also be a player who looks or sounds funny because “Frog in a Pot” is funny. At least until the burner gets fired up.
As well, if Arnold Lobel’s “Frog and Toad” series is any guide — and it is — then the frog is a stabilizing, clear-headed entity. So think of a team leader who slowly boils to death.
Failing any of that, think of a player who embodies what we talk about when talk about frogs.
Prototypes from Baseball’s Gauzy Past:
If Bill Pulsipher didn’t slowly boil to death, then I don’t know who did. Don Mossi kind of looked like a frog. So did Wally Moon. And Benjie Molina is pretty clearly what we talk about when we talk about frogs.
Guiding, Determinative Query:
Which current major-league player should be nicknamed “Frog in the Pot”?
The convention floor, which is covered in freshly steam-cleaned Oasis Blue shag carpeting, is hereby open for nominations …
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