Nickname Seeks Player: “Interrobang”

Our ongoing quest, in the manner of a noble knight-errant, is to assign cool nicknames to players rather than indulge in the tired paradigm of assigning cool players nicknames. Before we launch the latest installment, however, a trip through our Hall of Honouur, which is so stately, so regal, so much itself a celebration of the Norman Conquest, that an extra British-English unstressed “u” is required for proper spelling. …

Bad Miracle” – Wily Mo Peña
Captain Black Tobacco” – John Danks
$45 Couch” – Yuniesky Betancourt
Liván Hernández” – Liván Hernández
Frog in the Pot” – Carlos Zambrano
Aqua Velva Man” – Chase Utley
Victorian Sex Rebel” – John Axford
Good, Round Friend” – Prince Fielder
I Am Not Afraid of You and I Will Beat Your Ass” – Kyle Farnsworth

And the nickname now available for purchase? It’s “Interrobang”!

Denotations, Connotations, Implications, Intimations, and Incriminations:

What, who or why is “Interrobang”? It is the greatest and most neglected of punctuation constructs. It is represented by this: “?!” Or this: “!?” Or, on occasions most special, this:

As you can imagine, the interrobang poses a question — “What?” — followed by an exclamation and or whoop — “Shit, golly!” It is a moment — or a man, or a man and his moments — that is equal parts stupefaction and awe. “Did he just do that? Fuck my idiot face, he just did that!”

Prototypes from Baseball’s Gauzy Past:

Greatness with flair. Greatness in defiance of human limits. Ozzie Smith. Sir Dick Allen. Mike Schmidt. Pedro Martinez. Babe Ruth. Willie Mays. Bob Feller. And it need not be sustained greatness. Bo Jackson. Mark Fidrych. Or the opposite of Rico Brogna.

Guiding, Determinative Query:

What current major-league player should be nicknamed “Interrobang”?!

The convention floor, which is filled with gaping maws and Sans-a-belt slacks pooled around pale, hairy ankles, is open for nominations.




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FrankTheFunkasaurusRex
Member
FrankTheFunkasaurusRex
4 years 8 months ago

Jose Bautista? Every game he does something that will make me go ?!?!?!?!

FrankTheFunkasaurusRex
Member
FrankTheFunkasaurusRex
4 years 8 months ago

maybe that’s a little too obvious

phoenix2042
Guest
phoenix2042
4 years 8 months ago

bautista. because he came out of nowhere with a bang and everyone was like who is this guy!?!?!

Greg W
Guest
Greg W
4 years 8 months ago

Bautista in a run-down produced thsi result 3 times in 2 weeks.

TheGrandSlamwich
Guest
TheGrandSlamwich
4 years 8 months ago

Tough one. I think I might have to go with Mike Stanton.

paulmcanulty
Guest
paulmcanulty
4 years 8 months ago

which one?

paulmcanulty
Guest
paulmcanulty
4 years 8 months ago

sorry living in the past.

i was a top prospect then you know!

MM
Guest
MM
4 years 8 months ago

Ryan Doumit

FIN

Well-Beered Englishman
Guest
Well-Beered Englishman
4 years 8 months ago

Actually, for me “?!” usually occurs as a result of the opposite phenomenon – complete mad-scientist insanity/weirdness/apparent severe brain malfunction. So I’d think of Nyjer Morgan, Milton Bradley, or Tony La Russa.

Robert
Guest
Robert
4 years 8 months ago

Nyjer Morgan seconded

Yirmiyahu
Member
Yirmiyahu
4 years 8 months ago

Morgan was my first thought.

Darien
Member
4 years 8 months ago

And mine. I think Morgan will win this one in a walk.

The Rajah
Guest
The Rajah
4 years 8 months ago

Gotta be crazy Milton Bradley.

Kyle
Member
4 years 8 months ago

I’ll go with Stephen Strasburg, because of the way he makes me feel while watching him throw baseballs.

Well-Beered Englishman
Guest
Well-Beered Englishman
4 years 8 months ago

I still have dreams about that curveball K from his debut against the Pirates.

reillocity
Guest
reillocity
4 years 8 months ago

Interrobang sounds more like someone who consistently gives amazing responses to post-game interview questions, as in “Did he really just say that? F*** me.”. Only there wouldn’t be much of a debate as to who that player would be.

Todd
Guest
Todd
4 years 8 months ago

Carl Everett

The Common Man
Guest
4 years 8 months ago

Mike Stanton.

Ken Arneson
Guest
4 years 8 months ago

Brian Wilson

Noel
Guest
Noel
4 years 8 months ago

Eric Sogard. Because when I look at him I think: “He’s a baseball player?!”

Bryz
Guest
4 years 8 months ago

Hahaha.

Kyle
Member
4 years 8 months ago

This is a great nomination.

Noel
Guest
Noel
4 years 8 months ago

Can we nominate umpires? If so, Joe West is a total “?!”.

Adam Nicholas
Guest
Adam Nicholas
4 years 8 months ago

Jose Constanza for those three weeks when he generated 1 WAR. And then realized he’s not very good.

Calm Like A Bomb
Member
Calm Like A Bomb
4 years 8 months ago

Lance Berkman

Semi Pro
Guest
Semi Pro
4 years 8 months ago

Stephen Strasburg’s Changeup.

Jennifer
Guest
Jennifer
4 years 8 months ago

Eugenio Velez.

Anon21
Guest
Anon21
4 years 8 months ago

It’s got to be Melky Cabrera, on the strength of this play alone:

http://www.mlb.com/mlb/gameday/y2010/index.jsp?gid=2010_07_31_atlmlb_cinmlb_1&mode=wrap

Interrobang is what the cutoff man generated while watching the ball roll into center field.

Jon
Guest
Jon
4 years 8 months ago

this can’t be punctuated with anything less than an interrobang..

http://www.fangraphs.com/not/index.php/video-more-melky-cabrera-magic/

MikeS
Guest
MikeS
4 years 8 months ago

Alexei Ramirez. Thin as that exclamation point but 15 – 20 HR/year power which is really surprising with that build.

Defensively that arm of his whips around like the question mark and easily throws out runners from deep in the hole that you never thought he’d get.

Bryan Grosnick
Member
Member
4 years 8 months ago

Daniel Bard. Whenever I see him play, I’m like “!!” or I’m like “??” or I’m like “I?”.

Greg W
Guest
Greg W
4 years 8 months ago

I’m with you every time Bard throws that breaking ball that snaps about 3 feet outside the strike zone.

A Washington
Guest
A Washington
4 years 8 months ago

Yirmiyahu
Member
Yirmiyahu
4 years 8 months ago

Either he’s a crazy motherfucker or he cares more about fairness & rule enforcement than he does about his personal success.

steex
Member
steex
4 years 8 months ago

I believe he did this once during the World Series, as well. I specifically remember a play where both the batter and catcher simultaneously pointed down to 1B for the call.

Bryz
Guest
4 years 8 months ago

Someone please tell him that the offensive player cannot appeal a check swing!

Luke
Guest
Luke
4 years 8 months ago

Ozzie Guillen.

I know he’s not a current player but as soon as I saw this he’s all I could think about.

Scott
Guest
Scott
4 years 8 months ago

Hamilton was away from the game for years and on drugs, then picked up a bat and won the MVP. That doesn’t even make sense.

Also, Aroldis Chapman makes baseballs move really fast with his arm. Like, super fast.

steex
Member
steex
4 years 8 months ago

I have no useful input on who should have this nickname, but I can do the robot. That’ll be $5000, good day to you.

On second thought, “Interrobang” sounds decidedly Filipino to me (if you say it with the right inflection). Based on that, I’ll nominate Benny Agbayani.

TC
Guest
TC
4 years 8 months ago

Ryan Theriot, if only because he single handedly invented the TOOBLAN, the most “?!” play in baseball

SAmmy
Guest
4 years 8 months ago

Chris Davis makes me go ‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽

Ron Washington
Guest
Ron Washington
4 years 8 months ago

Me

ettin
Guest
ettin
4 years 8 months ago

Well if you subtract the greatness and the flair, Jeff Mathis’ throw to first base when the runner was stealing second base is a perfect “WTF?!”.

However if you are talking about flair I think Brandon Phillips might be a good choice with that in-between the legs toss to first base this year.

Avery
Guest
Avery
4 years 8 months ago

I’d like to support the nomination of Beltre not just on the strength of his bended-knee bombs, but also this:

http://deadspin.com/5853313/of-bad-mechanics-and-torn-testicles-or-why-i-love-adrian-beltre

Avery
Guest
Avery
4 years 8 months ago

Also, I couldn’t find the video of it, but a few years back Beltre made contact with a pitch that was outside and above his head, looked around trying to find where it had went, and it had cleared the RF fence before he saw it. Then he had to trot around the bases with a bemused expression that seems like it epitomizes the interrobang. Even he doesn’t know what happened half the time he does something amazing.

ElJosharino
Member
ElJosharino
4 years 8 months ago

The bang part makes me think of a cannon which makes me think of Gerrado Parra’s arm. The interro part can be someone asking, “Can I beat the throw home?” BANG. No you cannot.

Greg W
Guest
Greg W
4 years 8 months ago

Interrobang was the name of my college newspaper. Only 18 years before I foudn out what it meant.

And Bartolo Colon, after seeing him light up the gun in the mid 90’s I was like ?!?!?!?, what did they do to this guy? And he’s still so fat!?

Frank
Guest
Frank
4 years 8 months ago

Vlad. I porbably don’t need to explain to this crowd but I’ll sum up.

6′ x 8′ Strike zone.
No Batting Gloves.
58 foot curveball –>Single
Frozen Rope Strikes from Right Field.

A Washington
Guest
A Washington
4 years 8 months ago

A Washington
Guest
A Washington
4 years 8 months ago

Classic Vlad: horrible pitch, strange play, killer finish

Marc Iannacone
Guest
Marc Iannacone
4 years 8 months ago

I nominate K-Rod.

His father-in-law asked him a question once, and the answer came back with a bang…(and an exclamation mark)…!

Anon
Guest
Anon
4 years 8 months ago

Before I read the definition of “Interrobang,” I thought of Tiger Woods. But then I read it and remembered this is baseball. So Shane Victorino for this memorable play just over a month ago.

http://www.totalprosports.com/2011/10/06/shane-victorino-brings-us-this-outfield-blooper-gif/

gnomez
Guest
gnomez
4 years 8 months ago

Nothing Jason Motte does is subtle. It’s mostly screamy and intense. Like an interrobang.

Padman Jones
Member
4 years 8 months ago

Nelson Cruz

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