Our ongoing quest, in the manner of the noble knight-errant, is to assign players to cool nicknames rather than indulge in the tired, shopworn paradigm of assigning nicknames to cool players.
First, though, a brief jaunt through our Nickname Seeks Player Vaulted Halls of Honor:
“Bad Miracle” – Wily Mo Peña
“Captain Black Tobacco” – John Danks
“$45 Couch” – Yuniesky Betancourt
“Liván Hernández” – Liván Hernández
“Frog in the Pot” – Carlos Zambrano
“Aqua Velva Man” – Chase Utley
The nickname up for grabs in this episode? It’s “Victorian Sex Rebel”!
The writer was reading a review of this book, and his first thought was not, “This is potentially an important addition to existing socio-historical scholarship.” Rather, his first thought was, “‘Victorian Sex Rebel’ would make a fine nickname.” And so it is.
Denotations, Connotations, Implications, Intimations, and Incriminations:
The Victorian era was, of course, a time of restrained passions. One did not do certain things in polite company. Sometimes, one did not do anything in polite company. Indeed, for the bodice-ripper to exist, there must first be the binding oppression of the bodice itself.
So the Victorian Sex Rebel was one whose mighty will, heart and loins could not be harnessed by the times. Or it could be someone whose contrived image was at odds with his inner malaise. Something like that.
Prototypes from Baseball’s Gauzy Past:
Bo Belinsky made baseball love to innumerable foxy ladies while the 60s were still the 50s. Joe DiMaggio affected an image of impossible grace even though he was, at heart, something of a miserable weirdo. A pilot killed a drunken Lon Koenecke with a fire extinguisher. So there was at least something Victorian Sex Rebellish about Mr. Koenecke, since I can’t imagine that being killed by a pilot with a fire extinguisher was ever a thing no matter how unruly the times.
Guiding, Determinative Query:
Which current major-league player should be nicknamed “Victorian Sex Rebel”?
The convention floor, which, appropriately enough, is lousy with sex hammocks, is now open for nominations …