Nickname Seeks Player: Vote on “I Am Not Afraid of You & I Will Beat Your Ass”

by
November 4, 2011

The convention floor is filled with happy, beaten asses. Names have been placed into nomination, and some of those names have been subsequently culled according to the whims of the Parliamentarian with the Lidless Eye. And now, citizens, it is time to vote.

The matter before you: Which player is most worthy of the nickname “I Am Not Afraid of You and I Will Beat Your Ass”? Remember, please don’t enter the voting booth unless accompanied by one of our Election Supervisors, who are here to ensure proper and right-wise outcomes …


Thank you, patriots, for exercising the franchise.





 

Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.

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Yirmiyahu
12 years ago

Here’s my problem with Nyjer Morgan. He already has a good nickname, and he’s too fun-loving for this nickname. “I Am Not Afraid of You & I Will Beat Your Ass” should be someone seething with quiet fury, rather than an off-his-rocker weirdo with bad judgment.

Adrian Beltre.

1
Pikachu
12 years ago
Reply to  Yirmiyahu

but the thing is, Beltre isn’t the kind of player that pops into your head when you hear “I Am Not Afraid of You & I Will Beat Your Ass”.

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Yirmiyahu
12 years ago
Reply to  Pikachu

Honestly, the two players that popped into my head were Beltre and Coco Crisp.

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