Nickname Seeks Player: Vote on “Interrobang”

The convention floor is vacant, save for pools of spilled liquor and the desperate residues of mass Onanism. And thus the time for exercising the franchise is upon us. Names have been placed into nomination, and patriots charged with knowing what is best for you have whittled those names down to 10. Please reacquaint yourselves with the impassioned arguments and then go and vote sexily …

Thank you for voting. Please have a pre-owned lollipop.

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My first instinct was for Strasburg, but the poster who nominated Sogard had a very compelling case.