NotGraphantasy Draft Recap


As many of you know, over the past week, we at the NotGraphs Convalescent Home and Headquarters engaged in a thought exercise. Our goal: to build a team of avatars representing the NotGraphs aesthetic. Our results: more glorious than our collective and somewhat hyperbolic expectations. And now, urbane and attractive readership, it’s your turn to voice your opinions and witty rebuttals.

First, for the sake of reference, here are all of the authorial rationalizations for their picks:

Bradley Woodrum
Carson Cistulli
Robert J. Baumann
Jeremy Blachman
David G. Temple
Michael Bates
Patrick Dubuque
Navin Vaswani
Eno Sarris

Beneath the cut is a breakdown of the draft (fictional player denoted with asterisk):

Pick Team Player
1.1 Woodrum Mordecai Brown
1.2 Cistulli Dick Allen
1.3 Baumann Rickey Henderson
1.4 Blachman Joe McEwing
1.5 Temple Bo Jackson
1.6 Bates Babe Ruth
1.7 Dubuque Miguel Batista
1.8 Vaswani Roy Halladay
1.9 Sarris Barry Bonds
2.1 Sarris David Eckstein
2.2 Vaswani Jose Canseco
2.3 Dubuque Ross Barnes
2.4 Bates Sylvester Coddmyer III*
2.5 Temple Bugs Bunny*
2.6 Blachman David Wright
2.7 Baumann Mark Fidrych
2.8 Cistulli Mark Bellhorn
2.9 Woodrum Old Hoss Radborn
3.1 Woodrum Domingo Ayala*
3.2 Cistulli Aparicio Rodriguez*
3.3 Baumann Pedro Martinez
3.4 Blachman Sam Fuld
3.5 Temple Rube Waddell
3.6 Bates Jack Glasscock
3.7 Dubuque Sadaharu Oh
3.8 Vaswani Mark Eichhorn
3.9 Sarris Roberto Clemente
4.1 Sarris R.A. Dickey
4.2 Vaswani Ted Williams
4.3 Dubuque Jim Brosnan
4.4 Bates Satchel Paige
4.5 Temple Yoenis Cespedes
4.6 Blachman Fernando Perez
4.7 Baumann Gary Carter
4.8 Cistulli Dazzy Vance
4.9 Woodrum Munenori Kawasaki
5.1 Woodrum Moe Berg
5.2 Cistulli JR Richard
5.3 Baumann Joey Votto
5.4 Blachman Henry Rowengartner*
5.5 Temple Jose Altuve
5.6 Bates Wally Moon
5.7 Dubuque Chris Sabo
5.8 Vaswani Ozzie Smith
5.9 Sarris Rick Vaughn*
6.1 Sarris Rey Ordonez
6.2 Vaswani Ham Porter*
6.3 Dubuque Reggie Smith
6.4 Bates Steve Balboni
6.5 Temple Mike Schmidt
6.6 Blachman Craig Breslow
6.7 Baumann Bill Lee
6.8 Cistulli Glenn Burke
6.9 Woodrum Eddie Gaedel
7.1 Woodrum Rollie Fingers
7.2 Cistulli Tony Conigliaro
7.3 Baumann Joe Morgan
7.4 Blachman Royce Clayton
7.5 Temple Thurman Munson
7.6 Bates Bid McPhee
7.7 Dubuque Paul Molitor
7.8 Vaswani Roberto Alomar
7.9 Sarris Mike Piazza
8.1 Sarris Sal Fasano
8.2 Vaswani Scott Rolen
8.3 Dubuque Digital Ken Griffey, Jr.*
8.4 Bates Ernie Lombardi
8.5 Temple Pete Rose
8.6 Blachman Billy Beane
8.7 Baumann Reggie Jackson
8.8 Cistulli Candy Cummings
8.9 Woodrum Josh Reddick
9.1 Woodrum Jayson Werth
9.2 Cistulli German Mesa
9.3 Baumann Henry Skrimshander*
9.4 Blachman Hector Villanueva
9.5 Temple Joe Tinker
9.6 Bates Dock Ellis
9.7 Dubuque Gregg Jefferies
9.8 Vaswani Mark McGwire
9.9 Sarris Carlos Beltran
10.1 Sarris Tsuyoshi Shinjo
10.2 Vaswani Jim Edmonds
10.3 Dubuque George Plimpton
10.4 Bates Arlie Latham
10.5 Temple Oscar Gamble
10.6 Blachman Keith Hernandez
10.7 Baumann Glen Gorbous
10.8 Cistulli Mike O’Neill
10.9 Woodrum Jackie Robinson
11.1 Woodrum Yuniesky Betancourt
11.2 Cistulli Jeremy Brown
11.3 Baumann John  Stearns
11.4 Blachman Sandy Koufax
11.5 Temple Jim Abbott
11.6 Bates Randy Johnson
11.7 Dubuque Frank Fernandez
11.8 Vaswani Manny Ramirez
11.9 Sarris Matt Harvey
12.1 Sarris Branch Rickey
12.2 Vaswani Sparky Anderson
12.3 Dubuque Bill Veeck
12.4 Bates Mike Veeck
12.5 Temple Connie Mack
12.6 Blachman Joe Maddon
12.7 Baumann Billy Beane
12.8 Cistulli Oscar Wilde*
12.9 Woodrum George Knox*
13.1 Woodrum Koshien Stadium
13.2 Cistulli Alexander Cartwright
13.3 Baumann The Sandlot*
13.4 Blachman Steve Phillips
13.5 Temple Earl Weaver
13.6 Bates Malachai Kittridge
13.7 Dubuque Clark Field
13.8 Vaswani Navin Field
13.9 Sarris This field in Maracay
14.1 Sarris Ozzie Guillen*
14.2 Vaswani Pat Gillick
14.3 Dubuque Joe Schultz
14.4 Bates Childhood Backyard *
14.5 Temple The Polo Grounds
14.6 Blachman Wrigley Field
14.7 Baumann Ron Washington
14.8 Cistulli Driving Park
14.9 Woodrum Rube Foster

For those interested in such trivia, here are the cumulative WAR totals for each team:

Team WAR
Vaswani 653.7
Bates 541.7
Baumann 509.6
Sarris 409.6
Temple 400.1
Dubuque 231.1
Cistulli 215.8
Woodrum 198.9
Blachman 190

And now we turn to you, our faceless overseers, Scofieldian judges of our souls. Who “won” the Notgraphantasy Draft? Who lost? Who made the best or more questionable pick, and which players were snubbed? Make your voice heard, or your words read. Do something with your words.

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Patrick Dubuque is a wastrel and a general layabout. Many of the sites he has written for are now dead. Follow him on Twitter @euqubud.

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Clearly no one wins because no one drafted Jon Dowd (AKA Barry Bonds) from MVP ’05. He would always put up an MVP season in ’05 before falling off a cliff (literally, I presume) and either watch his skills decrease dramatically or retire. He was also white for charmic reasons.

Nor was Matt Derksen drafted (AKA Hanley Ramirez). He was a star in the making and still on the Red Sox.


Bates, then Baumann/Woodrum – could go either way on 2nd best.

Cistulli’s team is obnoxiously esoteric, even for Cistulli. Bad.


If Cistulli’s team was not obnoxiously esoteric, no one would believe it was really him making the picks. Your analysis is otherwise correct.

Jeremy Blachman

I’m very excited to be last in WAR.


No Greinke pick means you all lose!

But by my estimation, the Dubuque Dubuques and Baumann’s Earnest Best are somewhere out there in the atmosphere, battling in game 7 of the NotGraphsy World Series. It is the 34th inning and the game is tied.


May I have an official NotGraphs Bib before I comment?


LOL @ Ozzie Guillen*


I dispute your WAR calculations. It seems you have not given proper credit to Sylvester Coddmyer III’, whose WAR should clearly be well over 100 and would move Bates into first in that measure. Coddmyer (aka SC3) could only hit home runs. We’re talking about someone who would have an OPS somewhere around 5.000. This has to be factored into the WAR calculations.

Babe, SC3, Paige, and Ellis. It seems clear that Bates has not only picked the most NotGraphsy team, but also the most talented at baseball. A supreme accomplishment. He wins in a landslide.


weird amount of Mets selected. also, Shinjo!!!


I submit that I won. Seriously, I enjoyed this effort.


Disappointed no one recalled that Snoopy was neck & neck with Aaron for Ruth’s home run mark – as a (quality) shortstop, no less. And was a flying ace. That’s missed value.

Thought Johnny Wockenfuss would garner attention based on a solid whacky stance/facial hair/say-his-name backwards factor (Suffnecow) triumvirate. And he could catch in a pinch.

AC of DC
AC of DC

I also was waiting in vain for a Snoopy pick — one which would almost assuredly have made my team. An able and unorthodox fielder, he matched being the lone quality player on a miserable team with a studied nonchalance and a frank indifference to the game: when it was time to be fed, he was there with his dish and there were no more grounders fielded until he was sated. This is a NotGraphs player.


Can’t believe no one selected C. Montgomery Burns to be their owner/manager.

Bradley Woodrum

Ugh, that’s a miscalculation that stings.