NotGraphs Haiku: McCarver and Buck


Shut up. Please shut up.
I’m begging you. Shut the fuck
up for one second.

This has been a NotGraphs Haiku, written mostly out of frustration, because the commentary during the postseason makes the games borderline unwatchable.

High five to Internet scholar @cjzero for the GIF.

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Navin Vaswani is a replacement-level writer. Follow him on Twitter.

21 Responses to “NotGraphs Haiku: McCarver and Buck”

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  1. Mike Green says:

    Turn it down Navin
    You would not miss anything
    Try Hendrix instead

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  2. CubsOfTheNorth says:

    Audio overlay.

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  3. Jim says:

    Just a thought, but maybe the powers that be could look past ex-Cardinals, Cardinals announcers and people from St. Louis a little more often when making hiring decisions for national
    MLB announcers.

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    • Birdlander says:

      Or they could look to McCarver’s back-up in ’64 & ’65.

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      • eastsider says:

        I’m sure Uecker was great once, but for the decade I’ve been in Milwaukee, he has been phoning it in. The guy who fills in for him during the innings he takes off is alright.

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  4. Jack says:

    Yes. Mute works nicely.
    Sometimes add MLB web.
    Bring back Red Barber.

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  5. Bryz says:

    I’ve muted all games
    Friend disagrees but I say
    Give me Vin Scully

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  6. Cath says:

    My lord how horrid.
    I had no idea that
    Ears could bleed so much.

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  7. steve says:

    It’s a cardboard box
    Yes indeed, a cardboard box
    I’m going senile

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  8. 7 Unassisted says:

    Amen Amen A
    Men Amen Amen Amen
    Did I say Amen?

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  9. William Tasker says:

    So this is McCarver’s last series, right? He is retiring? Imagine how much that will be a part of the WS telecasts. Oy. Buck rhymes with one of those Haiku words.

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  10. Ryan says:

    Tim, ay chingada
    SAP button savior
    No October feed

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  11. Bryrob58 says:

    Thank you for that Tim.
    Do not mind my skittish gaze,
    I am self-conscious.

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  12. Gyre says:

    Soon it will be over
    the LONG suffering ends
    even mute is not enough
    when the video analYSIS appears

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  13. Hendu for Kutch says:

    Tigers are awesome.
    But does Verlander think so?
    Let’s interview him.

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  14. Kenny says:

    A post bashing Tim McCarver. How original.

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  15. I love all of you for your contributions. Except Kenny. He’s kind of a dick.

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    • Kenny says:

      I forgot to add that using Haiku in a humorous context is also incredibly original. You should have your own website.

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      • You’re on the Internet — probably at a public library, I presume — bitching about something posted on the Internet. Now that, my friend, is original.

        Thanks for stopping by, for the page views, for the comments, and for adding to David Appelman’s riches, pal.

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  16. yosoyfiesta says:

    This is awesome, except for you Kenny, no wonder you always get axed in South Park, you’re a dick.

    Navin, thank you for having the fortitude to write such epic poetry while degrading the two most miserable bastards in the game of baseball

    If only Vin Scully could announce every game of the series…

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