Now Calling The Bullpen…

More on the new T-Mobile bullpen phone deal

EXT. WHITE SOX BULLPEN

Phone rings. BOBBY picks it up.

BOBBY THIGPEN

Hello?

(Silence.)

BOBBY THIGPEN

Hello?

Silence. Bobby hangs up the phone. Turns to MATT.

BOBBY THIGPEN

No one there...

MATT THORNTON

Maybe a prank call.

BOBBY THIGPEN

Yeah, or one of those spammers.

MATT THORNTON

I don’t know how they get these numbers.

Phone rings. Bobby picks it up.

BOBBY THIGPEN

Hello?

INTERCUT WITH WHITE SOX DUGOUT

ROBIN VENTURA

Hey.

BOBBY THIGPEN

Hey, was that you before?

ROBIN VENTURA

What?

BOBBY THIGPEN

I asked if that was you before.

ROBIN VENTURA

It’s sort of staticky. Let me call back.

BOBBY THIGPEN

What?

ROBIN VENTURA

Oh, crap, the Indians just got another hit.

BOBBY THIGPEN

Have Paul Konerko start throwing?

ROBIN VENTURA

What?

BOBBY THIGPEN

Okay, great.

Bobby hangs up. Phone rings again.

BOBBY THIGPEN

Hello?

ROBIN VENTURA

Yeah, is this better?

BOBBY THIGPEN

Hello?

ROBIN VENTURA

Can you hear me?

Bobby hangs up. Phone rings again.

BOBBY THIGPEN

Stop calling!

ROBIN VENTURA

I’m just trying to tell you to get Veal up and throwing.

BOBBY THIGPEN

Sale?

ROBIN VENTURA

Veal.

BOBBY THIGPEN

Yeah, Sale. Oh, wait, hold on, I have another call.

Bobby pushes a button.

BOBBY THIGPEN

Hello? No, I’m not looking to change my text messaging plan.

Bobby pushes a button.

BOBBY THIGPEN

You still there?

ROBIN VENTURA

Yeah. Is Veal ready?

BOBBY THIGPEN

Sale? No.

ROBIN VENTURA

Veal.

BOBBY THIGPEN

You know what, just send me a fax.



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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.


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Dan Rozenson
Guest
Dan Rozenson

Can’t wait to see the first sexting scandal as a result of the deal.

Antonio bananas
Guest
Antonio bananas

Or if criticisms of dumb moves. Freddi Gonzalez “get Durbin up” “venters?” “No, it’s not the 8th” “bases loaded, one out, we need a ground ball” “yea….but it’s not the 8th…..” “You’re a f$&@king idiot”

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