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One Night Only: The Elusive Mustache

Super Pavario 1UPs the Royals on the strength of the Elusive Mustache.

Something was different when Carl Pavano entered the Twins clubhouse yesterday. You guessed it. The bodacious fork duster that garnered Pavano notoriety during the 2010 season had returned for a one night tour in the Twins’ season finale. That mustache, along with Pavano, was tasked with keeping the Twins from the dreaded “100-loss” stigma that goes with, well, losing about 61.7 percent of the games you play in a given season.*

Pavano did just that — out-dueling Klaasen-crush Sweet Chen Music — in tossing a complete-game shutout which provided a great send-off for retiring radio broadcaster John Gordon, who had the thrill of calling a walk-off win his final game as a simulcast for the last few innings.

Pavano mustache-waxed poetic after the game, offering the following gems:

“It was actually an accident. I meant to go with handlebars. On this side, I had a ski accident five or six years ago where I hit a tree. So, it really doesn’t grow good over here. Like, really terrible. So, I ended up growing a mustache because I didn’t want to go totally bare. It’s kind of funny how it worked out right there. It was the first mustache I had all year. I tried everything else. I don’t even know what to say. Everyone wants to point to the ‘stache. I’m not that superstitious, but I was trying to have a little fun. We definitely had a some fun tonight winning the ballgame. So, whatever you gotta do. Maybe it will be back in spring training, I don’t know. The elusive mustache…”


“‎Not that I’m happy about losing 99, but it’s a lot better than a fuckin’ hundred, to be honest with you.”

Clearly, if the Twins want to contend in 2012, they may want to add a facial hair incentive in Pavano’s contract.

*Only applies to modern-day, 162 game scheduling.