Only Slightly Belated Bat-Flip Alert: David Ortiz

Ortiz Flip

In the sense that the footage here of David Ortiz dispensing of his bat in a manner the author will describe as “aggressively insouciant” both (a) originates from last night and (b) has already been celebrated by l’internet entier, it’s probably fair to say that the present bat-flip alert is belated.

And yet, consider: George Washington died over 200 years ago. Do we not, though, still discuss in history classes and on American streetcorners how he (i.e. Washington) personally and with great physical exertion disemboweled no fewer than every stateside member of the British Navy in the waning hours of the Revolutionary War? We do, is the very obvious answer.

The point: while an event occurs just once, it sometimes requires much in the way of speculation and commentary to be completely understood. Will schoolchildren in 200 years speak in hushed and reverent tones about Ortiz’s bat flip against the Yankees? No, they won’t — for a number of reasons which have already been accounted for by various science-fiction plots. That said, there’s likely something to be gained by carrying into Monday our reflections on Ortiz’s own personal declaration of independence from Sunday.




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Carson Cistulli occasionally publishes spirited ejaculations at The New Enthusiast.


12 Responses to “Only Slightly Belated Bat-Flip Alert: David Ortiz”

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  1. Big Papi says:

    No one is going to dictate my freedom to flip my bat in an aggresively insouciant manner.

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  2. Mr. Smooth says:

    It looks like he hit a home run, but thought he drew a walk.

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  3. harpago17 says:

    If we don’t get at least one Yasiel Puig bat flip tonight in LA, I’m going to be sorely disappointed.

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  4. dlk1100 says:

    that science-fiction-plot line destroys. well done

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  5. Krog says:

    Summary: George Washington bat-flipped the Delaware River.

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  6. Choo says:

    Incidentally, this is exactly how a spoon should be tossed in the sink after one demolishes four consecutive bowls of cereal.

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  7. AC of DC says:

    To be fair, that’s the same way Ortiz runs out singles.

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  8. Bookem says:

    The flip appears to be noticed by the pitcher.

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  9. Eminor3rd says:

    LOL the catcher is so disappointed!

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  10. i_love_mud says:

    Washington, Washington, six-foot-eight weighs a f****** ton

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  11. Rob says:

    I can’t use this bat anymore. This bat is spent.

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