Oscar Azocar and a Very Slippery Slope

Observe the following Stadium Club card of former Yankees and Padres outfielder Oscar Azocar:

Click to embiggen, of course.

Azocar is seen here having what appears to be an intimate moment with his baseball bat. And that’s just fine. I’m sure Azocar and his bat have been through some very emotional times together… the good, the bad, you name it. But, it’s important to remember that bats are not truly able to consent. And we’ve seen what can happen when these relationships go too far.

Yes, I’m looking at you, Gloria Allred:

Remember, loving your bat is OK. Loving your bat physically is not.




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Resolution
Guest
Resolution
5 years 15 days ago

We are all quick to point out the damage incurred when fragile Maple bats break during play, but it’s about time we start examining the emotional damage these fragile bats may suffer as well.

Telo
Guest
Telo
5 years 15 days ago

What in the hell is going on in that second gif… having trouble imagining any sort of scenario where that makes sense

Joe P.
Guest
Joe P.
5 years 15 days ago

Telo: earlier this season, Braves pitching coach Roger McDowell made some offensive comments and jestured as in the .gif above towards fans at a Braves-Giants game. The father above and his children were among the fans who saw the jesture, so he retained Gloria Allred and the incredibly awkward press conference above ensued.

matt w
Guest
matt w
5 years 15 days ago

More on the story.

(It seems to me that the guy retained Gloria Allred probably not so much because McDowell allegedly made an obscene gesture in front of his kids as because McDowell allegedly threatened to hit him with the bat — I’m not a lawyer, but that seems considerably more actionable.)

David
Guest
David
5 years 15 days ago

Despite the good background explanations I’m still confused. Did McDowell have a second person “holding” the bat as he “gestured” with it? And was he insinuating in his threats that he would be hitting this man in the bald head with the bat like he was shooting the cue ball in a game of billiards?

“Actionable” is now my word for the day. Thank you Matt W.

Card Archives
Guest
5 years 15 days ago

No, He called him a san francisco treat and then demonstrated what gay people do when they’re left alone with bats. Unfortunately, the demonstration was very unrealistic because neither McDowell nor the accuser have anuses for hands.

juan pierre's mustache
Guest
juan pierre's mustache
5 years 14 days ago

the gif leaves out the part that shows that the children who were allegedly damaged by this profane display were in fact present when the parents/legal counsel re-enacted it. the full clip showing two silent staring girls as this is done is quite disturbing

Quinton Loreman
Guest
5 years 15 days ago

This will be a terrific web page, will you be involved in doing an interview regarding how you created it? If so e-mail me!

Resolution
Guest
Resolution
5 years 15 days ago

This may be perhaps the best comment the internet has experienced thus far.

Card Archives
Guest
5 years 14 days ago

I have a full size bed and i’m going to be moving into a room that 9.4X9.6?

reyes theis
Guest
reyes theis
5 years 14 days ago

Azocar died one year ago.
Respect!

Roger McDowell
Guest
Roger McDowell
5 years 14 days ago

That’s the best bat action Allred has ever gotten!

brocean
Member
brocean
5 years 13 days ago

Yahoo’s Dave Brown’s Twitter avatar was of him kissing his bat.

His omission from this post is felt.

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