NotGraphs Presents: Boileryard Clarke Holiday Pictures


Do you have something slightly less than total indifference to late son-of-a-bitch Boileryard Clarke? Have you ever wanted to spend a probably inclement weekend afternoon at Maryland’s Druid Ridge Cemetery? If so, then have your photo for your family Holiday Card taken in front of or beside or behind Boileryard Clarke’s actual headstone this weekend.

Photos will be emailed to customers in a resolution about which they’re likely to complain. Ten-minute time slots can be purchased just by sending Carson Cistulli what seems like a little bit too much money. Walk-ups will not be accepted, unless it seems as though doing so will lead to career advancement or some other favorable treatment.

Rseerve your day and time in the comments area below.

NotGraphs will provide the following:

  • Dispiriting comments on the ubiquity of death.
  • Props, including: cigarette butts and old Frederick’s of Hollywood catalogs.
  • Serious doubts.


  • This is an imaginary, and not real, offer.
  • All of life, for that matter, is probably just an illusion.
  • We are afraid of the enormity of the possible.

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Carson Cistulli has just published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

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According to Wikipedia, there are no fewer than 2 famous balloonists buried in Pere Lachaise cemetary, but NO famous ballplayers.