So the Astros hired this fella, Sig Mejdal, to be the club’s “Director of Decision Sciences.” I hear what you’re probably saying to yourself. “Isn’t that a made-up title?” In a way, yes it is. That may or may not have you asking, “So what other titles were considered?”

Well you’re in luck. I’ve procured a copy of the different titles the Astros were prepared to hand out had this not worked out. Take a gander.

 Director of…..Sciences? Yes, just plain Sciences.

 Director of Lawn and Blog Management

Director of Follicular Development and Cultivation

Director of Pizza Parties

Director of Prayer and Missions.

Selig’s Assistant*

Director of Video

H.R. Department

Director of Just Because

Director of Ejection, Dejection, Rejection, and Country Music Selection

Director of Michael Young Department

Nutritionist

Director of Social Media

Director of Transportation

Director of Exercise Sciences

Nothing

With all these names in mind, and the whispers that Shep Trumbo and Gil Thorpe were in the mix to be added to the PR department, it’s not hard to see that there was some pretty stiff competition. Props to you, Mr. Mejdal.

* Two co-positions was deemed not financially viable.