by Carson Cistulli - June 14, 2012
From the official Twitter account of the Chicago Cubs (click to embiggen, if you darest):
193 character tweet? Impressive.
yo, cubs fan, does that mean what i think it means? i have to know this like right now.
wait, false alarm. thinking of the wrong player.
Who exactly pens these official Cub tweets? It’s Dale Sveum, isn’t it?
First of all, this is photoshopped. Too many characrers for Twitter. Second of all, Sveum definitely does not Tweet. Random people in the organization are always in charge if the Twitter accounts, not the manager.
I know Sveum didn’t write that. That was a humor joke.
Pft. That’s not even a corresponding move.
They don’t correspond to each other, but they do correspond to a pair of other moves that I can only assume had been previously tweeted about.
First I am supposed to believe that Koyie Hill has a sprained ass. Now you want me to believe in the existence of invisible corresponding tweets? Chya right.
The “with emphasis…” section is a different color font, slightly darker black, so this is a photoshop.
HEY GUISE, IT’S JOKEZ. CISTULLI IS A FUNNY GUY. HAVE U NOT READ HIS BOOK? U CAN BUY IT ON AMAZON. HIS LATEST HIT, A CASE OF THE IRISH SETTERS, IS DOPE.
I have two irish setters, both gentle as a dove,
and a jar of peanut butter to spread-ith the love.
Smooth, not chunky, on both my cheeks.
Dogs with long tongues, play hide and go seek.
If I were named Koyie, I’d probably become quite an ass myself
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