Player Has Nickname: “In Play, No Outs”

LaHair with his giant Winner’s Cup, courtesy NotGraphs.

The attentive reader will know that my colleague and champion of the vulgar Dayn Perry has made a practice in these pages — via his Nickname Seeks Player series — has made a practice of (in his words) “assign[ing] cool nicknames to players rather than perpetuate the tired, lamewad practice of assigning cool players nicknames.”

While Perry’s point regarding the assignment of nicknames is unassailable, it’s also the case that sometimes nicknames are not assigned at all, but are instead revealed — as if out of the ether.

Such was the case, this afternoon, when out of my friend Dan Woytek’s mind (itself not unlike the ether) and onto his computer email screen came a suitable nickname for major-league baseball’s current leader in BABIP and owner, now, of a career BABIP somewhere north of .385, Bryan LaHair.

This is the nickname in question: In Play, No Outs.

This is your reaction to it: surprise and/or amazement, probably.

This is what you might proceed to do now: tell at least one person.

This is what you’ll probably also do: the other things you had planned.

Follow Dan Woytek on Twitter at @dwoytek, in case he says one more amusing thing before he dies or you die.

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Carson Cistulli has just published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

15 Responses to “Player Has Nickname: “In Play, No Outs””

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  1. Eminor3rd says:

    I like this a lot, but isn’t it: “In Play, No Out(s)”?

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  2. Corey says:

    Assuming LaHair doesn’t maintain a .500 BABIP this season I would assume that honor should go to Austin Jackson who has maintained a .369 BABIP over 300 games to LaHair’s 92.

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  3. phoenix2042 says:

    What if Dayn Perry challenged your supremacy by putting this to his tradition nickname vote? Would LahHir still win it? If he did not, would you fire and/or execute Dayn for the affront? And most importantly, were another player to win the nickname, would you still be the king of Notgraphs?

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  4. Man, I was calling Swisher Senor Buttcheeks from the bleachers last night and just got a lot of blank stares.

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  5. Well-Beered Englishman says:

    I guess Josh Hamilton must be In play, run(s)

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  6. Oliver says:

    Well, it can’t be Albert Pujols. So I suppose Ichiro. But that’s boring.

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  7. Dunston says:

    Mets fans nicknamed Anderson Hernandez IPOR (In Play, Out(s) Recorded) after his anemic 2006 season. The proof is on the Mets Geek recap of the 2006 season.

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  8. Logan says:

    That nickname is unsustainable.

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  9. Jonathan says:

    How about Joey Votto?

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