Poem: The Runner, Fearful before Terry Mulholland’s Pickoff Move

I am less runner gaining purchase on inches,
Scant toe-breadths of this game’s soil, the color of punished citrus,
Than I am boat, loosed from moorings and set adrift,
Pushed away from the dock by a careless hand.
A hand that grasps nothing, least of all you.

On my dumbed feet of mud and oatmeal,
I am left to your vacant mercies.

Your leg doesn’t lift from its considered hinge and hang in half-freeze.
Rather, it slides askance and your arm lurches and rises
Like a grouse flushed from brush.
It is quick despite its heavy power to decide heavy things.
And here I am, lost in tangled heaven.

So stop being a dick and pitch the ball.




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Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.


7 Responses to “Poem: The Runner, Fearful before Terry Mulholland’s Pickoff Move”

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  1. Kyle says:

    This is why they call him The Prime Minister of NotGraphs, folks!

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  2. Stoph says:

    Who else would fill out the Cabinet? Navin could be Minister for Canada naturally.

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  3. MikeS says:

    “Terry works as a gas station attendant during the offseason.”

    I miss the days before the reserve clause.

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    • jcxy says:

      i know! i had no idea that the inspiration for “ex basketball player” by updike was actually terry mulholland.

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  4. deadhead says:

    I would expect a Patriot like Mr. Perry to renounce the title of Prime Minister of NotGraphs. Nathan Hale would be rolling over in his grave over this, had he not been laid bare and placed at the base of a cairn to have vultures devour his flesh and pick his bones clean. His bones were then ground into a fine powder and injected into a young Theodore Roosevelt, thus granting him the powers of congress and the virility of a bull moose.

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  5. jcxy says:

    The 1987 Topps set was filled with gems like that. From McSweeney’s compendium on the subject (http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/verbatim-biographical-highlights-from-the-1987-topps-baseball-card-series):

    “Howard [Johnson] was co-winner of a rib-eating contest among professional athletes after the 1985 season.”

    “Moose has a Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do. He is an amateur magician and a certified locksmith.”

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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