Poetry, Translation by Pete Rose

pete-rose-poetry

In which Pete Rose translates towering works of poetry.

In today’s episode, Pete Rose will translate “A Poison Tree” by Romantic luminary William Blake from the original English into Pete Rose American.

Mr. Blake’s original:

I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I watered it in fears,
Night & morning with my tears;
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright ;
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine,

And into my garden stole
When the night had veil’d the pole:
In the morning glad I see
My foe outstretched beneath the tree.

Mr. Rose’s translation:

I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I watered it in fears,
Night & morning with my tears;
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright ;
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine,

And into my garden stole
When the night had veil’d the pole:
In the morning glad I see
My foe outstretched beneath the tree.

Hey, 7-11 clerk,
Let’s make this shit work.
My rebuilt Dodge in the handicap spot,
The .38 in my hand that I have not yet shot,

And an autographed, severed finger of mine
For 10 Powerball tickets (for which I typically stand in line),
And enough Schlitz my thirst to quench.
Anybody asks, my name’s Johnny Fucking Bench.

This has been “Poetry, Translation by Pete Rose.”




Print This Post

Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.


Sort by:   newest | oldest | most voted
CurtisStarkeyfan4life
Guest
CurtisStarkeyfan4life
3 years 5 months ago

Who will provide transcendental translation for Pete Rose’s poetry?

FamousAmazingGuy
Guest
FamousAmazingGuy
3 years 5 months ago

The NotGraphs Poet Laureate strikes again!

I haven’t seen this kinda trailblaz’n since Confederate bushwhacker Bloody Bill Anderson.

Dr. Internet's Therapist
Guest
Dr. Internet's Therapist
3 years 5 months ago

Jeez, Dayn, this one seems kind of mailed-in and juvenile. You really need to put some gumption into this – kind of how Thomas Jefferson used to put gumption into his lady slaves.

Dave Barker
Member
3 years 5 months ago

Thank you for setting the standard of maturity with that comment. Well done.

Mr. Observant
Guest
Mr. Observant
3 years 5 months ago

Yes – and judging from the last Dayn and Carson podcast this sort of bleak, historically-driven humor is totally out of place within these electronic pages. Also, really – the user handle didn’t give away the second part of the joke? Really?

Mr. Observant
Guest
Mr. Observant
3 years 5 months ago

Oh, Dr. Internet – is Dave Barker your new secretum identitatem? You sneaky devil…

wpDiscuz