Pole-n-Kuntz’s 2011 All Porn-Name Team
Dick Pole and Rusty Kuntz just came out with their position by position rankings of players with the best porn names from the 2011 season. The competition was especially tough in the outfield and among pitchers.
C: Dusty Brown
1B: Justin Smoak
2B: Nick Punto
SS: J.J. Hardy
3B: Justin Turner
LF: Lance Berkman
CF: Drew Stubbs
RF: Willie Harris
Starting Pitchers:
Phil Hughes
Doug Fister
R.A. Dickey
Josh Johnson
Chien-Ming Wang
Relief Pitchers:
Nathan Adcock
Charlie Furbush
John Danks
Kameron Loe
The Wood Brothers Triple Teamers (Kerry, Travis and Blake)
where’s JJ Putz??
He was one of the last pitchers cut. The Wood brothers were just too good to pass up.
I guess Dylan Axelrod will have to wait for next season.
These haven’t been the same since Randy Johnson retired.
Well, Randy Wolf is still out there pitching. It’s just that the competition for this roster is so stiff…
Is Davey Johnson the manager? Or should we bring Bobby Cox out of retirement?
I mean, you could have an “All Johnson” team, so this is a bit of a redundant exercise, don’t you think?
Hehe. Adcock.
I hope Willy Mo Pena was under consideration.
You’ve got an extra ‘l’ there – sadly, it’s Wily Mo Pena. No Big Willy here…
It’s pronounced “Willy”.
i’d like to see marcum make a spot
start or two
I think that in order to come to any real conclusions here, we’re going to need to know the following:
1) The name of each player’s first pet
2) The street on which each player grew up
For me that’s “Squeaky Countryside.” Wow I would have the world’s worst porn star name.
Yeah, I’m “Jake Second” but I don’t make the rules.
Mine’s not bad: Oreo Franklin
Mine is “Whitey Colonial,” which suggests some pretty horrifying porn.
Miss Kitty Palou. That could only work for a Southern belle transvestite.
Fister? I hardly knew her
I’m assuming Dick Pole will be brought back to be the pitching coach?
How could Lance Broadway not make the cut?
I realize that he hasn’t pitched an MLB inning in 2011, but Pedro Feliciano has always sounded to me like the words that a gentleman would use to order a BJ in Latin America or other Spanish-speaking parts of the globe.
Only if one desires to receive Feliciano from Pedro.
No Merkin Valdez?
Randy Johnson and Randy Bush: Co-Captains of the All-Randy Team.
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