Pole-n-Kuntz’s 2011 All Porn-Name Team

Dick Pole and Rusty Kuntz just came out with their position by position rankings of players with the best porn names from the 2011 season. The competition was especially tough in the outfield and among pitchers.

C: Dusty Brown
1B: Justin Smoak
2B: Nick Punto
SS: J.J. Hardy
3B: Justin Turner
LF: Lance Berkman
CF: Drew Stubbs
RF: Willie Harris

Starting Pitchers:
Phil Hughes
Doug Fister
R.A. Dickey
Josh Johnson
Chien-Ming Wang

Relief Pitchers:
Nathan Adcock
Charlie Furbush
John Danks
Kameron Loe
The Wood Brothers Triple Teamers (Kerry, Travis and Blake)




Print This Post

Jeff writes for FanGraphs, The Hardball Times and Royals Review, as well as his own website, Baseball Heat Maps with his brother Darrell. In tandem with Bill Petti, he won the 2013 SABR Analytics Research Award for Contemporary Analysis. Follow him on Twitter @jeffwzimmerman.


Sort by:   newest | oldest | most voted
no one
Guest
no one
4 years 8 months ago

where’s JJ Putz??

Bismarcke
Guest
Bismarcke
4 years 8 months ago

I guess Dylan Axelrod will have to wait for next season.

John R.
Guest
John R.
4 years 8 months ago

These haven’t been the same since Randy Johnson retired.

kcemigre
Guest
kcemigre
4 years 8 months ago

Well, Randy Wolf is still out there pitching. It’s just that the competition for this roster is so stiff…

The Frustrated Fan
Guest
4 years 8 months ago

Is Davey Johnson the manager? Or should we bring Bobby Cox out of retirement?

Abe
Guest
Abe
4 years 8 months ago

I mean, you could have an “All Johnson” team, so this is a bit of a redundant exercise, don’t you think?

Morse
Guest
Morse
4 years 8 months ago

Hehe. Adcock.

TheGrandslamwich
Member
TheGrandslamwich
4 years 8 months ago

I hope Willy Mo Pena was under consideration.

SteveS
Guest
SteveS
4 years 8 months ago

You’ve got an extra ‘l’ there – sadly, it’s Wily Mo Pena. No Big Willy here…

Yirmiyahu
Member
Yirmiyahu
4 years 8 months ago

It’s pronounced “Willy”.

joshcohen
Guest
joshcohen
4 years 8 months ago

i’d like to see marcum make a spot
start or two

ElJosharino
Member
ElJosharino
4 years 8 months ago

I think that in order to come to any real conclusions here, we’re going to need to know the following:
1) The name of each player’s first pet
2) The street on which each player grew up

Well-Beered Englishman
Guest
Well-Beered Englishman
4 years 8 months ago

For me that’s “Squeaky Countryside.” Wow I would have the world’s worst porn star name.

ElJosharino
Member
ElJosharino
4 years 8 months ago

Yeah, I’m “Jake Second” but I don’t make the rules.

RJ
Guest
RJ
4 years 8 months ago

Mine’s not bad: Oreo Franklin

John R.
Guest
John R.
4 years 8 months ago

Mine is “Whitey Colonial,” which suggests some pretty horrifying porn.

Travis
Guest
Travis
4 years 6 months ago

Miss Kitty Palou. That could only work for a Southern belle transvestite.

Mike D
Guest
Mike D
4 years 8 months ago

Fister? I hardly knew her

JDS
Guest
JDS
4 years 8 months ago

I’m assuming Dick Pole will be brought back to be the pitching coach?

James
Guest
James
4 years 8 months ago

How could Lance Broadway not make the cut?

reillocity
Guest
reillocity
4 years 8 months ago

I realize that he hasn’t pitched an MLB inning in 2011, but Pedro Feliciano has always sounded to me like the words that a gentleman would use to order a BJ in Latin America or other Spanish-speaking parts of the globe.

glassSheets
Guest
glassSheets
4 years 8 months ago

Only if one desires to receive Feliciano from Pedro.

Andrew
Guest
Andrew
4 years 8 months ago

No Merkin Valdez?

Choo
Member
4 years 8 months ago

Randy Johnson and Randy Bush: Co-Captains of the All-Randy Team.

Gregorio Croom
Guest
4 years 6 months ago

Hey there! Quick question that’s completely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My web site looks weird when viewing from my iphone 4. I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to fix this problem. If you have any recommendations, please share. Appreciate it!

xvideo-online.com
Guest
4 years 6 months ago

hello!,I like your writing so a lot! proportion we be in contact extra approximately your article on AOL? I require an expert on this area to unravel my problem. May be that’s you! Looking forward to look you.

wpDiscuz