Quiz: Nick Swisher and Magic

For all of her many virtues, Hannah Ehrlich — of River Ave Blues and the Twitters, respectively — occasionally forces innocent bystanders to think the dark thoughts. Nor is there a more representative case of her doing so than in the tweet you see embedded above, in which Ehrlich asks us to imagine what Nick Swisher would do with magic powers, had he access to them.

After a brief period of “vomiting” — followed by a longer period of “talking to my therapist” — I’ve finally come to terms with the mental pictures Ehrlich’s question generated. Now it’s my intention to thrust those same horrible mental pictures into the bespectacled reader’s mind, as well, via this entirely original, single-question quiz.

Hope you don’t fail!

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Carson Cistulli has just published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

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Hannah Ehrlich

When I proposed the question that not, I was thinking absolutely ZERO sexual or innuendo-related thoughts on the matter. I don’t know if anyone will *believe* me when I say this, but i promise it is the truth. I have always had a fantasy bent (i love fantasy/sci-fi books). When I thought about Nick Swisher using magic and then posed the question, I was thinking this on a pure fantasy bent, shooting fire and the like.

Mr. Cistulli has taken total advantage of me and twisted my tweets. I am displeased.