Jose Canseco Tweets Al Gore is Dead

Former U.S. Vice President and longtime environmental activist Al Gore has died somewhere in America, quite possibly alone and quite possibly of a shattered heart.

Although details of his passing aren’t yet available — at this writing, I’m not even sure the family has been notified (do they even care?) — the prevailing fact is that Al Gore is dead.

Some might call it odd that hoary organs like the New York Times and Washington Post are silent — aggressively silent, it would seem — on Mr. Gore’s blood-flecked, regeneration-through-violence and viscera-beflamed demise, but the truth remains that Al Gore is dead.

Do the circumstances surrounding the incontrovertible fact of his death suggest malice aforethought on his part? Or, perish the thought, play most foul? Or was it the sort of clumsy, banal finale that awaits most of us? Was there a pratfall? Were bowels voided? Did he see his kindly grandpa bathed in alabaster light?

We don’t know. All we know is that Al Gore is dead.

Please join me in mourning his passing from this world and in celebrating his life and works. For Al Gore, age 63, is dead.

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Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.


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Mike Newman
Member

Not cool Dayn! I actually googled this and saw 100 things about Canseco!

BeanTownBruce
Member

This is something you should not be joking about, this is not deadspin.

Kyle
Member

It’s not!?

Guy
Guest
Guy

Al Gore is dead.

Bryan
Guest

In his or any other time, Al Gore was indeed a head.

MikeS
Guest
MikeS

A thousand years from now he certainly is.

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MikeS
Guest
MikeS

Maybe he would still be with us if he stayed away from hoary organs.

Daniel Stern
Guest
Daniel Stern

He’s foraying into alternative comedy, and taking a cue from

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/13/tim-heidecker-pranks-sxsw_n_1343227.html

Bruce
Guest
Bruce

agreed, no joking here. earlier tweet was needlessly alarming.

Sociology Degreer
Guest
Sociology Degreer

We all know Al Gore will live on as a talking action figure.

Pastry Chef
Member
Member
Pastry Chef

“You are hearing me talk.”

Matt Defalco
Guest
Matt Defalco

Uh oh, looks like the no fun patrol showed up… ^

Mr. Observant
Guest
Mr. Observant

I forgot – Dayn’s usual postings are paragons of serious, factually sound reportage. May I direct the charming readers to Dayn’s last posting, wherein we men of letters and numbers discussed the insertion of various animals’ privy members into large household goods in the context of Rolling Stone and a douchebag writer?

Justin Verlander
Guest
Justin Verlander

I seriously thought he was referencing Futurama, but then I realized this was Jose Canseco talking.

RamboDiaz
Member

I’m enjoying the fact that the outraged would expect Dayn Perry to be reporting on the death of a former VP and an influential American. Proposing a new NotGraphs category called “Dayn Perry: Keepin’ it Real” just to stave off any further possible confusion.

Adam
Guest
Adam

I still haven’t heard why Canseco thought Al Gore was dead.

Darkstar
Member
Darkstar

his Global Warming theory is dying a horrific death at the hands of reality – maybe Jose just couldn’t separate the man from his own delusional myth

I’m super cereal

Ragspierre
Guest
Ragspierre

al gore was a head of his time

So, he was a DOPER, too…???

Explains so much…

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