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Jose Canseco Tweets Al Gore is Dead

Posted By Dayn Perry On March 30, 2012 @ 11:11 am In Tweet! | 18 Comments

Former U.S. Vice President and longtime environmental activist Al Gore has died somewhere in America, quite possibly alone and quite possibly of a shattered heart.

Although details of his passing aren’t yet available — at this writing, I’m not even sure the family has been notified (do they even care?) — the prevailing fact is that Al Gore is dead.

Some might call it odd that hoary organs like the New York Times and Washington Post are silent — aggressively silent, it would seem — on Mr. Gore’s blood-flecked, regeneration-through-violence and viscera-beflamed demise, but the truth remains that Al Gore is dead.

Do the circumstances surrounding the incontrovertible fact of his death suggest malice aforethought on his part? Or, perish the thought, play most foul? Or was it the sort of clumsy, banal finale that awaits most of us? Was there a pratfall? Were bowels voided? Did he see his kindly grandpa bathed in alabaster light?

We don’t know. All we know is that Al Gore is dead.

Please join me in mourning his passing from this world and in celebrating his life and works. For Al Gore, age 63, is dead.

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