Randy Wolf Will Not Be Writing For NotGraphs: The E-mails Revealed

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Hi Randy,

How’s it going? Remember that contract you signed? The one that offered you a chance to write for NotGraphs and said that we’d try you out this spring and if we liked your stuff, we’d give you a million dollars? Guess what? We like your stuff! Welcome to the team. Just give me a call about some details. Thanks.

Best,
Jack Z., guest editor, NotGraphs

Jack,

Terrific! Excited to share everything I know about bat flips and mustaches. I’m a little tied up with the pitching, so if you could just let me know the details over e-mail, that would be great.

Thanks,
Randy

Randy,

Oh, it’s nothing really. We just wanted to have you sign some stuff. We call it a 45 day waiver, it’s really no big deal.

Love,
Jack

Jack,

What would I be waiving?

Sincerely,
Randy

Randy,

Just your salary.

Kisses,
Jack




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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.


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