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Raul Ibañez Is for Paul Thomas Anderson…

As the off-season approaches, we’re sure to resume casting for our nascent baseballing epic, MLB: The Movie. For now, a couple of images of New York Tankees have me pondering who should direct this myth.

If you like the composition of this recent image of Raul Ibañez, you might like Paul Thomas Anderson to direct.


Raul said that’s that, mattress man.

Consider these images from Anderson’s 2002 film Punch-Drunk Love:


Does Raul have a love in his life that makes him stronger than anything you can imagine?

On the other hand, if you’re partial to this image of Derek Jeter, you might be lamenting that Tony Scott passed away earlier this year.


Jeter will drive whatever knife you throw at him out of this flooding ballpark.

Consider some of Mr. Scott’s sports-based, rain-soaked best:


From The Fan (1996)


From The Last Boy Scout (1991)

The question is, What feel to we want this film to have? Do we want it to feel an epileptic fit fueled by testosterone, chief motif: monsoons? Or do we want each shot to be beautiful and symbolic, the film sure to work to a resounding emotional crescendo?

You decide. You can also decide, if you haven’t already, whether I’m an elitist asshole with nothing to say.