Rays’ Path to World Series Goes Through Cleveland, Strangely

Thought it doesn’t appear — like, at all — to be the quickest route from Tampa Bay, a Google Map has revealed today that, if the Rays have any interest in reaching the World Series Batting Cages located on Woodley Avenue, just south of JFK High School in Granada Hills, California, they’re going to have to go through Cleveland to do it.

Of the unusual driving directions, Google representative Simon Warble had this to say: “This is the single dumbest use I’ve seen of our Maps product, ever — including that time you inquired about public-transit options from a Chuck E. Cheese in Denver all the way to Sierra Leone. You have clearly just looked up one thing with the words world and series next to each other and pretend-mistaken it for Major League Baseball’s championship. Below inane, is how I’d describe it.”

Added Warble: “I feel compelled to add that I’m fictional person you just invented.”

“We’d be happy to have the Rays come by,” said World Series owners Peggy and Lionel Sheephats, “but we’d prefer you not make up weird names for us like Sheephats. Also, we agree with Simon Warble about your use of Google Maps. Seems like a lot of effort for what amounts to maybe one-third of a joke. And that’s being generous.”

Print This Post

Carson Cistulli has just published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

Sort by:   newest | oldest | most voted
Rich Mahogany
Rich Mahogany