Real Image: Kris Bryant Is Delivering a Hilarious Wedding Toast

Bryant Best Man

Mere hours after being formally recognized for his performance at the Arizona Fall League, Chicago Cubs prospect Kris Bryant is demonstrating his skill alongside a different kind of plate — namely, the expensive and decorative sort commonly found at middle-class American wedding receptions.

Because it’s a photographic image and not video, one is unable to detect precisely what the powerful and young third baseman is saying, but it’s pretty clear from this same, totally unaltered image that it contains elements within it that are both uproariously comic and also pretty touching emotionally

Has he recalled the time he and his great friend accidentally forgot their tent on a camping trip to Cathedral Gorge State Park? Has he perhaps cited that unfortunate occasion on which they attempted, unsuccessfully, to use a woman’s expired driver’s license to buy beer?

Yes, is the answer. And probably more than that, too, is the rest of the answer. Because what’s happening is Kris Bryant is delivering a hilarious wedding toast. For now. Forever.

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Oh, Beepy.

He literally has the dreamiest eyes

The Return of Rambo Diaz
The Return of Rambo Diaz

The bridesmaids totally can’t believe he just said that.