Regretful Purchase, Stupid Bobblehead Edition

There is a saying that a fool and his money are soon parted. Whether that’s the case or not, it is true that anyone who possesses money will eventually spend some of it in a way that does not contribute to his/her overall well-being and fulfillment as a person. There are, of course, a nearly infinite set of degrees to which this can play out. I feel as though I fall on the upper 50% of that spectrum, but I am not without my occasional lapses in judgment. Behold this stupid bobblehead I bought on eBay recently:

The absurdity of this purchase is magnified by the fact that:

1. I don’t live in Oakland, nor have I ever considered myself a fan of the Oakland Athletics.

2. Scott Hatteberg, whose likeness is enshrined in said bobblehead, was never really that great of a baseball player.

3. I didn’t even see the game glorified by this little statue.

One would be right to ask, then, why I would make such a purchase. The following two facts are the biggest contributors:

1. I was drunk on Scotch whiskey.

2. The movie Moneyball was the only thing worth watching on my DVR.

This bobblehead was a fan giveaway at the O.co Coliseum to celebrate the 10 year anniversary of Hatteberg’s homerun that won the final game in Oakland’s 20-game winning streak in 2002, the game at which I was not present, nor was watching on TV.

This purchase will not lead to me defaulting on my mortgage, nor will it lead to my inability to buy food in the near future. It is still a dumb purchase, however. It ranks with the copy of Fantasia I bought while high, and the electric piano that I never learned to play.

It will eventually move to the shelf holding the baseballs autographed by players for whom I actually give a crap, and who were actually good at baseball. It will be the outlier, much like the 2002 Oakland Athletics. Perhaps it will provide some element of poetry, or prove a reminder that great things can sometimes be done by men generally considered to be non-great.

It will always remain, however, a waste of God-damned money.




Print This Post

David G. Temple is the Managing Editor of TechGraphs and a contributor to FanGraphs, NotGraphs and The Hardball Times. He hosts the award-eligible podcast Stealing Home. Dayn Perry once called him a "Bible Made of Lasers." Follow him on Twitter @davidgtemple.


10 Responses to “Regretful Purchase, Stupid Bobblehead Edition”

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
  1. Resolution says:

    Don’t worry David – if the regret becomes too unbearable I’m sure you can figure out a way to smoke this bobblehead – or at least have a great afternoon in the backyard playing God* with a magnifying glass.

    *Studies show that personal feelings of divinity are routinely enhanced by scotch whiskey.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. Urban Shocker says:

    Call me. Deacon Blues.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. williams .482 says:

    Given Hatteburg’s role as a supremely underpaid pert of that Oakland team, I find this highly ironic.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. Scott Hatteberg Bobblehead says:

    *nodding head in agreement*

    +9 Vote -1 Vote +1

  5. joe says:

    Oddly enough, I was at the game where these were handed out. it was pretty difficult to get, they were all handed out long before the game started. I had two friend groups at the game, one group that hand them, one group that wanted them. The prices got pretty crazy.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  6. Adam says:

    What about the pasta pot? Or did that turn out to be a good drunken purchase?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  7. michele says:

    If you still have the bobblehead, my grandson loves Scott Hatteberg and I wanted to get him one. Would you consider selling yours? Kind of on a budget, so cannot spend alot.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  8. David Rand says:

    I actually want ot buy this off of you lol

    Vote -1 Vote +1

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>