Rejected FanGraphs Spin-Offs

A few months back, Rotographs editor and Fangraphs writer Eno Sarris created Beergraphs, a site dedicated to the analytics of beer. It’s a fantastic site, focusing on beer stories (“Barely Beer”) and the analysis of user beer ratings, trends, ingredients and more (“Beergraphs”).

The site uses some of the Fangraphs intelligence and means of evaluating baseball players to evaluate and rate beers. If you consider the connection that exists between beer and baseball – whether that be drinking at the park or drinking away your sorrows – it’s a logical spin-off.

What many people don’t know, though, is that this wasn’t the first spin-off idea that was tossed out there. For every “Fraser” there are some “Joey”s. Thanks to some internal emails the powers that be thought were destroyed, I was able to find out what these rejected spin-offs were.

Snackgraphs
Synopsis: Analyzing the sales volume of ballpark snacks.

Sample graph:

snackgraphs
Reason rejected: 100 percent of husbands and wives vetoed the idea for a “Super Size Me” style feature on eating nothing but Boomsticks for a month.

SmirnoffIcegraphs
Synopsis: Same as Beergraphs, but dedicated entirely to Smirnoff Ice.

Sample graph:

smirnofficegraphs
Reason rejected: Matt Hunter was the only one willing to drink nothing but Smirnoff Ice.

Trollgraphs
Synopsis: Analyzing the frequency and vitriol of troll commenters and tweeters.

Sample graph:

trollgraphs
Reason rejected: Don’t feed the trolls.

Gifgraphs
Synopsis: Analyzing the length, volume and quality of GIF-makers.

Sample graph:

gifgraphs
Reason rejected: Too much sploosh for Chris Sale slider GIFs.

PitchingProspectgraphs
Synopsis: Analyzing pitching prospects.

Sample graph:

footage_not_found
Reason rejected: There’s No Such Thing As A Pitching Prospect

Eno’s
Synopsis: When he captured two notorious badguys back in Hazzard County, bumpkin deputy Enos was invited to join a Special Branch of the Los Angeles Police. When he found two predictive formulas from his San Fran home, editor Eno was invited to join a special branch of SABR.

Sample graph:

enos
Reason rejected: Well, it sure didn’t work for Dukes of Hazzard.

Graftgraphs
Synopsis: Measuring the success rate of hair-grafts and the incidences of graft-versus-host.

Sample graft:

3x07_Prison_Break-In_(27)

 

Reason rejected: I mean, all you need to do is have the hairplugs removed.

Beardgraphs
Synopsis: Measuring facial hair growth rate among baseball players and writers.

Sample graph:

beardgraphs
Reason rejected: I have no idea. This should be a thing.

Fangraphsgraphs
Synopsis: Analyzing the writers and stories found on Fangraphs.

Sample graph:

fangraphsgraphs
Reason rejected: Too meta.

Graphgraphs
Synopsis: Analyzing the use and efficacy of different types of graphs on the internet.

Sample graph:

graphgraphs
Reason rejected: Too nerdy, even for us.




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Blake Murphy is a freelance sportswriter based out of Toronto. Formerly of the Score, he's the managing editor at Raptors Republic and frequently pops up at Sportsnet, Vice, and around here. Follow him on Twitter @BlakeMurphyODC.


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Bobby Higginson
Guest
Bobby Higginson
2 years 10 months ago

SkinGrafts

tylersnotes
Member
2 years 10 months ago

both gifgraphs and fangraphsgraphs already describe notgraphs, but i’d take more gifgraphs if someone wants to make that.

emlazar
Member
emlazar
2 years 10 months ago

Let’s not ignore Dustin Ackley’s beard.

Well-Beered Englishman
Guest
Well-Beered Englishman
2 years 10 months ago

I would happily subscribe to Gifgraphs and Fangraphsgraphs.

DenardSpanGraphs?

Jason B
Guest
Jason B
2 years 10 months ago

Well done sir.

(A) I think you underestimate the heart attack (ackackackackack) inducing capabilities of hot dogs.

(B) What are the X and Y axes on beardgraphs? I’m guessing number of ladies they have claim to have bedded, and number of 8-bit nintendo games still owned. Nah…there would probably be bigger clusters at [100,50] and [0, 120].

(C) On TrollGraphs, you can break the “real comments” wedge down further into:

– Hey man, you disrepected my favorite team/player! (26%)
– Bad puns (13.994%)
– Good puns (0.006%)
– Cory Kluber sure is neat-o (8%)
– #6org! *giggle snort* (6org%)
– WAR is stoopid (5%)
– Dayton Moore is stupid (3%)
– So…what’s the deal with Wendy? Is she married? Will you give her my digits, I’m too nervous to talk to her myself… (2%)

Bill Brasky
Guest
Bill Brasky
2 years 10 months ago

YuniBGraphs

MVLLOW
Guest
MVLLOW
2 years 10 months ago

If SmirnoffIcegraphs is anything like getting ICED it must be heinous. Good call scratching it off the list.

Matt Hunter
Member
Member
2 years 10 months ago

What did I do to deserve this?

Eric
Guest
Eric
2 years 10 months ago

I would like commentorgraphs.

Seeing a leaderboard of the most liked and disliked comments, most replied, funniest as rated by Carson, etc

Dan Ugglas Forearm
Member
Dan Ugglas Forearm
2 years 10 months ago

PeopleWhoCommentInTheCommentSectionDuringLiveChatsGraphs

Tennis Troll
Guest
Tennis Troll
2 years 10 months ago

I’ll take a stab at one. SteffiGrafs

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