Rejected Melky Cabrera Headlines

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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.


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Leslie Knope
Guest

Loose Juice Goosed! Melk-Man’s Bottles Blemished, Built Bulk Buying Bootleg Biology. Men with True Testosterone Don’t Cry Over Spilled Melk

Velma Kelly
Guest

He Had It Comin’, He Had It Comin’, He Only Had Himself to Blame

Ron Burgundy
Guest

Testosterone? It’s the Pleats. I Was About to Take These Back to the Pants Store

olethros
Guest
olethros

Giant’s Melk Goats

Pic
Guest
Pic

Hormonogenized and Testosterized Melk

orange56
Guest
orange56

Melky Boob Has Giants Ejaculating Forlornly

samuelraphael
Member

Melk’s Magic Teat Mastectomy

BC
Guest
BC

A star falls from the melky way

Semi Pro
Guest
Semi Pro

Puns make my eyes and ears bleed.

Smooth
Guest
Smooth

Melky Discharge

Kev
Guest
Kev

Melky Cabrera: The Lingering Dingleberry on the MLB’s Anus.

deadhead
Member
deadhead

Melky Cabrera butt fucks the gigantic, fucking asshole known as Bob Costas on live tv to the chagrin of no one. Also, he got suspended for a drug violation and has to sit 50 games.

Big Daddy V
Guest
Big Daddy V

Dopers: Faulted Melk Balls

reillocity
Guest
reillocity

You’re clearly melking this story for all it is worth, Blachman.

bluejaysstatsgeek
Member

MC Hammered.

JayAre
Guest
JayAre

Something something Muscle Melk

JayAre
Guest
JayAre

MLB Bans Muscle Melk

Uh Oh Cordero
Guest
Uh Oh Cordero

(Scape)Goat’s Melk

Zoidberg
Guest
Zoidberg

Your puns are bad, and you should feel bad!

kris
Guest
kris

Breast melk.
Or, I hear you guise like irony, so: organic hormone-free, whole melk.

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