Rejected Melky Cabrera Headlines
Vote for your favorite! Or write your own, and I’ll share the best tomorrow!
Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.
Loose Juice Goosed! Melk-Man’s Bottles Blemished, Built Bulk Buying Bootleg Biology. Men with True Testosterone Don’t Cry Over Spilled Melk
He Had It Comin’, He Had It Comin’, He Only Had Himself to Blame
Testosterone? It’s the Pleats. I Was About to Take These Back to the Pants Store
Giant’s Melk Goats
Hormonogenized and Testosterized Melk
Melky Boob Has Giants Ejaculating Forlornly
Melk’s Magic Teat Mastectomy
A star falls from the melky way
Puns make my eyes and ears bleed.
Melky Discharge
Melky Cabrera: The Lingering Dingleberry on the MLB’s Anus.
Melky Cabrera butt fucks the gigantic, fucking asshole known as Bob Costas on live tv to the chagrin of no one. Also, he got suspended for a drug violation and has to sit 50 games.
Dopers: Faulted Melk Balls
You’re clearly melking this story for all it is worth, Blachman.
MC Hammered.
Something something Muscle Melk
MLB Bans Muscle Melk
(Scape)Goat’s Melk
Your puns are bad, and you should feel bad!
Breast melk.
Or, I hear you guise like irony, so: organic hormone-free, whole melk.