Remember the Five Minutes When People Thought Mike Moustakas was Going to Have a Great Season?

Let’s take a nostalgic look back.

Moose 1

Moose 2

Moose 3

Moose 4

Moose 5

Moose 6

Moose 7

Contrast that with:

Not that we can or should judge anything by (as of this writing) 15 hitless at-bats, but I have replaced him in my fantasy lineup with James Loney.




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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.


15 Responses to “Remember the Five Minutes When People Thought Mike Moustakas was Going to Have a Great Season?”

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  1. Dang says:

    Fun with Mike Moustakas’s 2014 stats-

    – wRC+ of -51. That’s a negative number for a stat with a plus sign in it.
    – 1 RBI, but 0 hits. 0 sac flies. 0 bunt attempts. So really, 1 RWI?
    – A great (actually, literally) 14.3% BB rate, which helps boost his OBP to .143 (hell, and his OPS to .143)

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    • MikeS says:

      Doesn’t that mean that he is 151% worse than average? That’s like worse than a dead guy with no arms. I love stats like that. I remember when Matt Thornton actually had a negative FIP or xFIP a month into a season and I figured that meant the White Sox were somehow awarded runs every time he took the mound.

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  2. tylersnotes says:

    where’s the novelty twitter account for this concept?

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  3. quinceleather says:

    I know this is great fun and all, but underneath the humor there is broken baseball player who is probably gonna be sent down to the minors. I feel for him.

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    • Compton says:

      Read about Eno’s interviews with Royals… you will most certainly not feel for him.

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  4. yosoyfiesta says:

    Quinceleather has added some sobering truth to an otherwise enjoyable post, but he’s absolutely right, the poor kid’s career is going to be in shambles and we’re laughing at it. That being said, I’m going to continue with the trend and hop on board with the shortcomings of Moose Tacos. Someday soon, we’ll no longer hear his name or Ike Davis’ as two rising stars in baseball, instead, we won’t hear about them at all, and it will be glorious, because then we’ll be able to talk about players that actually matter – except for all the people that wrote about how good Moose was going to be this season. Not even George Brett could fix him, so you know it’s bad!

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  5. TangoAlphaLima says:

    I was a total idiot and bid $2 on Moose in my auction draft. Thankfully I’m in a league with a bigger idiot who bid $3 on him.

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    • Snarf says:

      ha! we have someone that “won” him for $12 our 15 team league.

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    • Big Daddy V says:

      I got Moose Tacos in the 6th round of my negative-points league. He’s scored more points than anyone else! Now that’s great value.

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  6. Yost Watch says:

    I wonder how much better the Royals would have been had they been playing Alberto Callaspo at 3B the last two or three years instead of trading him to clear a path for the almighty Moose…

    Callaspo is no star, but definitely better than Moose to this point.

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    • TangoAlphaLima says:

      You know you’re on Fangraphs right? They would have been 0.7 WAR worse with Callaspo over the 2 full seasons Moose has played in KC. A lot of that has to do with Moose’s defense in 2012, though, which was highly regarded, but since has regressed somewhat.

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    • Callaspo's Mother says:

      Seeing as Moose-boy has averaged -2.1 WAR the past two years and Al has averaged 5.6 WAR the past two years, they would have gained around 15.4 wins over the past two seasons.

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  7. Wobatus says:

    His plate discipline numbers look good, even if meaningless in such small sample. Then again, 0-18 is fairly meaningless too. Other than it means a batting average of zero point zero.

    Of course, it would help to not have a 0% line drive rate.

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    • jruby says:

      I think of it this way: even if Moustakas has a batting average infinity times what he has now going forward, that still means he will have a batting average between .000 and 1, exclusive. Contrast with the majority of players, that is, those with a batting average above zero, who will, if they post a batting average infinity times what they’ve done to this point, will set the major league batting record by a margin greater than any arbitrary real number.

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  8. M.C. Antil says:

    New drinking game. Drink a shot every time Moustakas swings at a full count pitch. I honestly do not believe the man has let a 3-2 pitch go all year without taking a vicious hack at it, regardless of how far out of the zone the offering may be. There are clueless, instinct-only hitters, and then there is this guy.

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