Report: Why Pujols Really Threw His Glove at Aybar

Minneapolis — Considerable speculation has flooded the internet blogs regarding Albert Pujols‘s motives for throwing his glove at Angels teammate Erick Aybar following the club’s 6-2 victory over the Twins on Wednesday (box).

In point of fact, the NotGraphs Investigative Reporting Investigation Team has learned that the gesture was in response to an ongoing argument the pair have regarding the utility of deconstructionist thought.

“Pujols, he doesn’t recognize the internal contradictions of philosophical discourse,” Aybar said when reached for comment. “The moment we attempt to utilize rhetoric in the service of describing metaphysical reality, we have obscured reality.

Said Pujols in response: “I regard Aybar’s claims only as an attempt to deliberately obscure discourse and nothing else. He argues against language until it no longer exists.

“So how I do refute him? I throw my glove. ‘Deconstruct that,’ I said. Q.E.D.”

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15 Responses to “Report: Why Pujols Really Threw His Glove at Aybar”

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  1. Tim says:

    BAHAHAHA. Excellent.

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  2. manute says:

    Yeesh. So not funny.

    On the other hand: Hahahahahaha, Latinos talking philosophy!!! Lol!!!!!

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    • PrettyRicky says:

      Eh I don’t think this post was racially motivated, only motivated by the fact that these were the two players involved in the glove-throwing incident.

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    • Resolution says:

      We’re just going straight to ethnicity and bypassing ‘Professional athletes and/or jocks talking philosophy’? Lame.

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  3. Jason says:

    I always thought Aybar looked a little like Wittgenstein.

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    • phoenix2042 says:

      and pujols looks just like a young saussure. he won’t let anyone take his prison house of language from him!

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  4. TheGrandSlamwich says:

    Where can I find more information on this?

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  5. Larch says:

    This makes me happy.

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  6. deadhead says:

    Everything I learned about philosophy, I read in an Erica Jong novel. Same goes for sex.

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  7. Aaron55 says:

    I think they both practice santeria

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  8. vivaelpujols says:

    Hegel sucks. Pujols was fully justified IMO.

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  9. stefangfg says:

    Aybar hit his funny bone triggering a Dionysian outburst. “Now he gets Nietzsche,” Aybar later said. “He was stuck in a dull existentialist rut, mentally maundering and brooding about the ineffable abyss between the pitched ball and his bat. He needs to see, hit, and party”.

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  10. orange2001 says:

    Sheesh… these guys are friends… they were just clowning around. This coming from a source inside the Angels clubhouse!

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