Resolve to Be a Better Man… Fan

‘Tis the season for resolutions, so let’s perceive of ourselves as better people for just a second. No worries about the sex of the title, these will work for fans of any gender. As you’ll see, these resolutions represent a two-pronged approach to this whole betterment thing. A little for the body, a little for the heart, and a little for the mind.

* I resolve to run more often … so that I can eat and drink as poorly as I want at the game.

* I resolve to put down my computer, phone and book so that I pay complete attention … to the game.

* I resolve to be more thrifty and spend less, perhaps by brewing more of my beer at home … so that I can afford to go to more games.

* I resolve to read more and fully research everything … that could make be a better fantasy player.

* I resolve to tell the people I love that I love them more often … so they don’t mind when I ask for the television for the game later.

* I resolve to learn something new … about baseball.

* I resolve to help others … dominate fantasy leagues I’m not in.

* I resolve to get organized … gotta get all those baseball cards in the right order.

* I resolve to spend as much time as possible with my son (due in early April) … and, of course, put the ball in his left hand as much as possible. Even LOOGYs get paid.




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Graphs: Baseball, Roto, Beer, brats (OK, no graphs for that...yet), repeat. Follow him on Twitter @enosarris.

3 Responses to “Resolve to Be a Better Man… Fan”

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  1. Kyle says:

    I’m right there with you on ball-in-left-hand front. It’s not yet April and you’re already on the correct path as a father!

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  2. Yirmiyahu says:

    I resolve to spend as much time as possible with my son (due in early April) … and, of course, put the ball in his left hand as much as possible. Even LOOGYs get paid.

    You should only teach him to throw left-handed if you want him to be a pitcher. If you want him to be a position player, it’s best to make him right-handed so as to maximize positional options.

    Who wants to be an injury-prone, prima donna pitcher anyway? Mold him into a throws:R bats:L hitter.

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  3. Dizzy Valance says:

    Teach that kid to throw a knuckleball! League minimum until you are over 40 years old is a hell of a living.

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