Review: Playing PES 11 While Listening to MLB Audio


Pair your media experience with Trader Joe’s Mediterranean Hummus.

A teacher of mine in high school — one who was very enthusiastic about what I’m almost certain is called “experiential education” — had a number of guiding principles by which he conducted his pedagogical self. Of these, one he’d repeat pretty often concerned the idea of “authoring” one’s education. “A student,” this teacher would say, “needs to become the author of his education — of his experiences, in general.”

Though I’ve likely fallen short of this ideal — too many “experiences,” it seems, involve swimming nude in a public water source, an activity which I regard as indecent on multiple levels — it’s an idea with merit, this. The passive consumption of experiences/ideas/media is wrong not on a moral level, as many hippies/communists/Portlanders would argue, but on an aesthetic level. Which is to say, it’s imperative that we tailor our experiences to our own specific preferences and talents; otherwise, said experiences will surely underwhelm.

Today, I’d like to use this space to address an activity I’ve recently “authored” and which I believe approximates Adam and Eve’s garden here on Earth — namely, playing Pro Evolution Soccer 2011 (PES 11) for the PlayStation 3 while listening to a baseball game on MLB.com’s Gameday Audio.

While the description is pretty straightforward — you just play PES 2011 while listening to a baseball game on Gameday Audio — there are some particulars that deserve further attention.

Particulars like the following, I mean.

On the Appropriate Game Mode to Use in PES
The appropriate game mode to use in PES is Master League.

On Choosing a Club
There are two — and maybe more — criteria to choosing a club. The first is, one oughtn’t pick a club that’s already fantastic. Barcelona, Manchester United, even Bayern Munich: these clubs are already great. You’re proving nothing by winning with them. More rewarding is to take a side that would normally be in the relegation zone, such that, when you win, you experience a hundred satisfactions.

The second criteria is to consider picking a team from a place you might actually visit someday — particularly, if the people from said place don’t-a speak-a the English. One time, for example, I visited Bari, Italy, which club (i.e. A.S. Bari) I was managing in an earlier iteration of PES. I found myself, a not-great speaker of Italian, at a New Year’s party. The Italians there, about as confident in their English as I was/am in my Italian, were reluctant to start conversations — until, however, I mentioned A.S. Bari. They (i.e. these Italian people) were shocked that a little American person would know basically the entire roster of their Serie B team.

Needless to say, we all ended swimming nude together in a public water source. (Although, to be fair, that’s as common as saying “Hello, how are you?” in Italy.)

On “Playing” the Game
It’s important to note that, when I say “play” PES 2011, that’s not exactly what I mean. In fact, I don’t “play” the game, at all. Rather, like a real-live Mister, I conduct transfers, select the starting eleven, and customize the team’s game plan. After that, however, I prefer to leave the team alone, allowing the computer to control my side for me. This way my ability as a button-pusher don’t distort my talents as an excellent roster-constructerer.

On Which Audio Feed to Select
This is something I can’t answer fully. Anecdotally, I can say that the Brewers’ and Red Sox’ radio broadcasts are excellent — for Bob Uecker and Joe Castiglione, respectively. (I believe, however, that Castiglione’s partner Dave O’Brien is a step down from Jerry Trupiano.) As noted yesterday, Pittsburgh radio colorman Bob Walk seems to be pretty good, too.

Regarding Adult Beverages
Drink them — preferably in tandem with a delicious snack, such as one of the varieties of Kettle Chips or Trader Joe’s Mediterranean hummus.




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Carson Cistulli has just published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.


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AK707
Member
AK707
5 years 16 days ago

I endorse this, but while listening to Jon Miller’s relaxing banter.

TheMooseOfDeath
Guest
TheMooseOfDeath
5 years 16 days ago

I would suggest listening to Vin Scully, but the vividness of his descriptions would make you visualize, quite literally, the baseball game on the television set in front of you, which would basically negate much of the PES 2011 part of the exercise.

Temo
Member
Temo
5 years 16 days ago

My version of this is playing MLB the Show all summer with my shirt off and the window open while listening to blue grass.

One thing I’m absolutely positive you cannot do is play MLB the Show while listening to baseball on the radio. That’s just weird.

Navin Vaswani
Editor
5 years 16 days ago

Needless to say, we all ended swimming nude together in a public water source.

I laughed out loud.

NJQ
Member
NJQ
5 years 16 days ago

“Rather, like a real-live Mister”

Hey you really know your Calcio.

eric
Guest
eric
5 years 16 days ago

Really good to see you writing again here

dan
Guest
dan
5 years 16 days ago

this is the best thing ive read this week

Robert Hagedorn
Guest
Robert Hagedorn
5 years 16 days ago

Adam and Eve’s garden here on Earth? Do a search: First Scandal.

Leo Martin
Member
5 years 15 days ago

FIFA 11 ftw

Also Jerry Trupiano ftw

SFSUGatorAlum
Guest
SFSUGatorAlum
5 years 12 days ago

I know I’m late to the party, but I play FIFA 11 and listen to Giants games on KNBR…and it’s nothing short of awesome.

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