Rob Deer (@RobDeer45) is now following you on Twitter!

Rise up!
Or rather
get out of bed
you lout
it is 1:30 in the afternoon
on a Tuesday
and you do not work
third shift

but also because
Rob Deer (@RobDeer45)
is now following you on Twitter!

Make yourself
some breakfast
you turd
and make it a good one
with cage free
vegetarian eggs
a nice bacon
alternative
something you can really
Instagram
you piece of––
because you are alive
and you can
still chew your food
because it is your birthday

and also because
Rob Deer (@RobDeer45)
is now following you on Twitter!

Hey you
crud-thumping
anxiety magician
it is time
are you ready
for good things to happen
for the possibility
of Rob Deer (@RobDeer45)
engaging in abusive behavior
on Twitter
for the regime change
for all of your
favorite snacks?

Mobilize already!
Take a walk or something
with your smartphone
emblazoned in front of you
the fact that Rob Deer (@RobDeer45)
is now following you on Twitter
will shield you from
whatever the capitalist pigs
that also follow you on Twitter
will throw your way.

Take the bull by the horns
and make lemonade
for you have lived to see another
afternoon, to take another
walk with your smartphone, to
swallow more fake
bacon, to gaze into your
inbox once more––

and what an inbox it is!
telling you of steals and deals
and deaths and
among other things
that Rob Deer (@RobDeer45)
is now following you on Twitter!

You odoriferous speck
of taint waste.



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Hire Robert J. Baumann to live-blog your next birthday party, family reunion, or corporate event. You will not want to forget it soon.


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iosimcash

wtf

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