Ron Gardenhire Nickname Generator Gets Put To Use


Brethren and sistren, behold! Today I bring you the latest Internet creation, which debuted and made its rounds just this week. This new innovation, my friends, is the Ron Gardenhire Nickname Generator, a website that will take your last name and magically transforms it, through the power of Technology!™, into the shitty nickname that the manager of the Minnesota Twins would provide you in lieu of the grand nicknames of baseball’s past, such as “The Reading Rocket”, “The Commerce Comet”, and “Lumpy”.

This’ll be great. Let’s try it together. My nickname is below:


And baseball-savant David Cameron:


And ne’er-do-well David Temple:


And put-upon gentleman of the night Dayn Perry:


Huh. I have to be honest, guys and gals; I’m kind of underwhelmed by this pattern. It’s ok, I guess, but hardly justifies even the minimal time and effort I have invested in this post thus far. Is there not anything we can do that will render this project worthwhile? We’ll try one more:


Never mind. This is fantastic. Congratulations, Cistsy!

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Mike Bates co-founded The Platoon Advantage, and has written for many other baseball websites, including NotGraphs (rest in peace) and The Score. Currently, he writes for MLB Daily Dish on SB Nation. His favorite word is paradigm. Follow him on Twitter @MikeBatesSBN.

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I’ve had a lot of nicknames in my life. But never this.

Gardenhire is next level creative.