Ron Gardenhire Nickname Generator Gets Put To Use


Brethren and sistren, behold! Today I bring you the latest Internet creation, which debuted and made its rounds just this week. This new innovation, my friends, is the Ron Gardenhire Nickname Generator, a website that will take your last name and magically transforms it, through the power of Technology!™, into the shitty nickname that the manager of the Minnesota Twins would provide you in lieu of the grand nicknames of baseball’s past, such as “The Reading Rocket”, “The Commerce Comet”, and “Lumpy”.

This’ll be great. Let’s try it together. My nickname is below:


And baseball-savant David Cameron:


And ne’er-do-well David Temple:


And put-upon gentleman of the night Dayn Perry:


Huh. I have to be honest, guys and gals; I’m kind of underwhelmed by this pattern. It’s ok, I guess, but hardly justifies even the minimal time and effort I have invested in this post thus far. Is there not anything we can do that will render this project worthwhile? We’ll try one more:


Never mind. This is fantastic. Congratulations, Cistsy!

Print This Post

Mike Bates used to have a stupid pseudonym. Now he doesn't because people want to pay him to write about baseball on the Internet and he's really a sell out that way. He is also a Designated Columnist at SBNation, co-founder of The Platoon Advantage, and is an American Carpetbagger on Getting Blanked, the finest in Canadian baseball-type sites. His favorite word is paradigm. Follow him on Twitter here:

12 Responses to “Ron Gardenhire Nickname Generator Gets Put To Use”

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
  1. Kyle says:

    I’ve had a lot of nicknames in my life. But never this.

    Gardenhire is next level creative.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. IMW says:

    It just spit out my actual nickname.
    conclusion: my friends are terrible.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. John Elway says:

    Elwsy. Sounds like he’s got a mouth full of tobacco.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. John Paschal says:


    Mine came back as “Wordy, Windy And Circumlocutory. And Also Kind Of Banal.”

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  5. AMR says:

    You are definitely “Batesy”. The generator is broken.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  6. Jay Baller says:

    I LOVE this!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  7. Well-Beered Englishman says:

    The tabs along the top of your web browser are exceptionally amusing.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  8. Lenard says:

    Why do people make snide remarks about what???

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  9. vegascubsfan says:

    this would have been hand in 2012 for Mike the world’s worst manager Quade. That guy had a nickname for everyone. However, more variety is needed, not everyone can end with amsy.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  10. Casper says:

    I might still be a churchgoer had I known that our Lord and Savior’s nickname is Christsy.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  11. MikeS says:

    I can’t believe none of you put Marc Rzepczynski through:


    Vote -1 Vote +1

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>