Ron Paul: Six-Tool Superstar

You have previously been made aware of the baseball prowess of perpetual Presidential candidate (I’m fairly sure he’s still running, somewhere) and spritely elf Ronald Ernest Paul, former congressman from Texas’s 14th district. Paul’s performance in the annual Congressional Baseball Game is legendary, as it includes the first out of the park home run in the game’s long history (it’s been held at least 79 times since 1909) and still just one of two. He was 45 at the time.

Three years later, at 48, he almost did it again, as the following video, uncovered by Steve E. over at Whiskers on a Stache (where you can find the finest admiration of Kevin Bass) demonstrates:

What else do we learn about Representative Paul during the 1983 game at Four Mile Run Park in Alexandria, Virginia?

  • Ron Paul has the range to play centerfield. (0:35)
  • He is “the best long-ball hitter on the [Republican] club, who has stroked a number of homeruns, not only in practice but during the course of the games.” (0:40)
  • Representative Barney Frank “would add he’s probably one of the best gynecologists you’ll find out on this ball field today.” (0:53)  Ladies, take note.
  • Actually, he’s “the only gynecologist in attendance tonight.” (1:03)
  • The Republicans are incompetently managed by Silvio Conte, as Ron Paul is batting seventh in part in favor of Rod Chandler, R-Washington, a freshman congressman who was seven years  Paul’s junior. But the strategy backfires, as the Republicans have chances to score early, but don’t capitalize without their star at the dish. (1:06)
  • Ron Paul looks damn good in his rainbow Astros uni. (2:31)
  • His double off the left-center field wall demonstrates he still has legitimate gap power and a smooth right-handed swing from the right side of the aisle. (4:00)
  • He’ll lay down a bunt anytime. Nobody should get to tell him what he can and can’t do with their unwritten rules. (5:00)
  • You can fool him with breaking stuff, but he’s patient enough to wait for the fastball, as he lines another hit to left. (6:02)
  • The shadow government doesn’t want to create a martyr and won’t let you see him get plunked, note the interference on the video. Nevertheless, Paul won’t be intimidated and stays in the game. (7:05)
  • Presumably, he took advantage of baseball’s strict and intrusive regulations to get to first base on catcher’s interference. Hypocrite. (8:45)
  • He will never be elected President of these United States, but he can rest easy knowing he still is a sure-handed flycatcher. (9:05)

Ultimately, Conte’s egregious managing probably costs the Republicans the win in 1983, as the game ends in the first ever tie, 17-17.  Clearly not as good at running a ball club as he was at acquiring defense contracts for Western Massachusetts. On the day, Paul officially goes 2-for-3 with a single, double, HBP, reached on catcher’s interference and at least a run scored and two RBI. Hits for average, power, runs, fields, and throws like a boss. And he’s the best gynecologist on the field. He’s a rare six tool player.




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Mike Bates used to have a stupid pseudonym. Now he doesn't because people want to pay him to write about baseball on the Internet and he's really a sell out that way. He is also a Designated Columnist at SBNation, co-founder of The Platoon Advantage, and is an American Carpetbagger on Getting Blanked, the finest in Canadian baseball-type sites. His favorite word is paradigm. Follow him on Twitter here: http://www.twitter.com/commnman

2 Responses to “Ron Paul: Six-Tool Superstar”

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  1. yaboynate says:

    “Hits for average, power, runs, fields, and throws like a boss. And he’s the best gynecologist on the field. He’s a rare six tool player.”

    I have it on good authority that he dominates the boardroom AND the bedroom.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. 81 says:

    Couldn’t we get a joke about the 1983 tie game resulting in homefield advantage being awarded to the winning party for the 1984 presidential election?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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