Baseball’s Sad Lexicon: FanGraphs Poetry Contest

You, too, can be a famous early-century wit.

In 1910, Franklin Pierce Adams wrote one of the two most famous poems in baseball history. Adams described “Baseball’s Sad Lexicon”, articulating the plight of suffering New York Giants fans. The Giants were doomed to failure, Adams explained, because of the efforts of three slick-fielding infielders on the rival Chicago Cubs: Joe Tinker, Johnny Evers, and Frank Chance.

A century later, baseball boasts a handful of great shortstops and second basemen. Some of those stars own far more impressive resumes than Tinker, Evers, and Chance (three of the least deserving Hall of Fame choices ever, who owe much of their candidacy to Adams’ oeuvre).

Yet despite the amazing resumes of Derek Jeter and other modern middle infielders, no double play combination has had a poem — or anything close — written in its honor in 100 years. This is especially sad in the case of Alan Trammell and Lou Whitaker, arguably the best keystone combo of the past 30 years, given their combination of skill and longevity by each other’s side. If someone had written a great poem about the two Tigers greats, they’d likely be in the Hall of Fame, too.

Given the renewed appreciation for defense in today’s game, our collective appreciation for the value of players on the right side of the defensive spectrum, and the fact that modern baseball poets actually exist, it’s time to remedy this problem.

Today, we celebrate baseball’s most esteemed keystone combo, Jimmy Rollins and Chase Utley. Here are their credentials:

Cumulative WAR playing with each other: 81.0
All-Star appearances: 8 (should be more)
Silver Sluggers: 5
Gold Gloves: 3 (should be way more)
MVP awards: 1 (should be more)
World Series trophies: 1
Any suspiciously slicked-back hair? Yes
Any nicknames that sound like caramel-based candy? Yes
Bonus: Playing with perennial All-Star Ryan Howard; it’s a little odd to include a first baseman’s accomplishments with that of his second base and shortstop teammates, but if Frank Chance gets credit, so does Howard.

Now here’s the original poem:

These are the saddest of possible words:
“Tinker to Evers to Chance.”
Trio of bear cubs, and fleeter than birds,
Tinker and Evers and Chance.
Ruthlessly pricking our gonfalon bubble,
Making a Giant hit into a double –
Words that are heavy with nothing but trouble:
“Tinker to Evers to Chance.”

So…how to contruct a poem honoring Rollins-to-Utley-to-Howard? Let’s hear your suggestions in the comments. Best one wins a signed copy of The Extra 2%.

Deadline is 8 pm ET, tomorrow (Friday, Feb. 11). We will announce the winner in the comments section on Monday morning.

Good luck!

Image courtesy of Life Magazine




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Jonah Keri is the author of The Extra 2%: How Wall Street Strategies Took a Major League Baseball Team from Worst to First -- now a National Bestseller! Follow Jonah on Twitter @JonahKeri, and check out his awesome podcast.


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H.Ambrose
Member
H.Ambrose
5 years 7 months ago

There is no such thing, as a ball in the hole.
When Rollins and Utley, patrol with one goal.
Taking turns they glide, and throw with such grace.
That Howard sits tight, and simply awaits.
The batter is furious, his timber in two.
A failed attempt, to hit it right through.

H.Ambrose
Member
H.Ambrose
5 years 7 months ago

simply waits.** not awaits.

baycommuter
Guest
baycommuter
5 years 7 months ago

I wouldn’t call Johnny Evers one of the least deserving Hall of Famers ever. Stats don’t show everything. He changed the game, not only on enforcing the force play rule at the end of games, but by figuring out a strategy that required the enactment of the infield fly rule.

Kevin Goldberg
Guest
Kevin Goldberg
5 years 7 months ago

Beasts of WAR, VORP, and OBP
Rollins-and-Utley-and-Howard,
High UZRs for each of the three,
Rollins-and-Utley-and Howard,
A trio that makes the National League tremble,
A trio so good, it’s hard to assemble,
An automatic double play they surely resemble,
Rollins-to-Utley-to-Howard

David Huzzard
Guest
David Huzzard
5 years 7 months ago

Rollins, Utley, Howard
crushers of souls,
deniers of dreams.
The danger is none
when a bat is in hand,
but glove on fist and swift of feet
just as deadly.
No base hits live over the bag.
With accuracy and grace ground balls
are swallowed,
and tossed to the mountain Howard
in the east.
Another hit stolen, a base runner dies,
and the Phillies snare victory
once more.

J Barker
Guest
J Barker
5 years 7 months ago

Rollins Utley and Howard

Short often hurt
Second unfettered by dirt
First measured by girt

Feeding the Mets innings of bagels
While Madoff sold them triangles

scottdsimon
Member
scottdsimon
5 years 7 months ago

J-Roll’s switch hitting,
Chase’s slicked-back goldilocks,
Howard’s overpaid.

m.r. schneck
Guest
m.r. schneck
5 years 7 months ago

On the infield at Philly, one trio stands tall
J-Roll to Utley to Howard
Sweeping up grounders, catching flies as they fall
J-Roll to Utley to Howard
Fleet on the bases, powerful at the plate
Their bats and gloves sealing many a fate
Words that will make a Mets’ fan’s teeth grate:
“J-Roll to Utley to Howard.”

Moe Koltun
Guest
Moe Koltun
5 years 7 months ago

When it all started their prospects were great:
Rollins to Utley to Howard
Finally winning in two thousand eight,
Rollins to Utley to Howard
Always their bats but not U, Z or R,
Turning the double like pouring out tar,
Gold gloves don’t matter when its slugged so far,
Rollins to Utley to Howard

Albert lang
Guest
5 years 7 months ago

The hackneyed plastic bag floating effortlessly across a playground
Has nothing on a starch white baseball gleaming in the not-too-hot sun
As it is hurled to the plate then shot the other way by Jimmy Rollins
In-between diving second and first basemen
Bouncing merrily, like a bunny, across plush green grass
Innocently being collected in a worn glove,
Tosses back to second as Rollins hops back to the bag
Smacks his cleats together, smiles knowingly at the firstbaseman
Peers back at the pitcher as he toes the rubber
The pure white baseball gleaming in the not-too-hot sun
Before it is hurled to the plate, Rollins is shot toward second
Hurtling his body against gravity and friction
Then diving arms first toward the white base
Displacing clean dirt from the ground to the pants to the base
To the glove as it smacks down, seconds late
Rollins stretches out his right arm, secures time,
Brushes the cleanest dirt from his jersey, buckle, pants
Smiles, knowingly at the second baseman
Peers back at the pitcher as he toes the rubber
The pure white baseball gleaming in the not-too-hot sun
Before it is hurled to the plate, Utley shoots it the other way
Past the diving inferior defensive second baseman
Bouncing merrily, like a bunny, across plush green grass
It is collected quickly by a worn glove,
Transferred immediately to a rocketed right arm and hurled to home
Rollins has rounded third, planted his right foot outside the coaches’ box
His body hurtling homeward, his right foot hooking the pinnacle of the plate
The catcher receiving the ball in a semi-crouch, transferring weight to his right foot
And rocketing the ball toward second, Utley dives arms first toward the white base
Displacing clean dirt from the ground
To the pants to the base to the glove as it smacks down, seconds late
Utley stretches out his right arm, secures time,
Brushes the cleanest dirt from his jersey, buckle, pants
Smiles, knowingly at the first baseman
Peers back at the pitcher as he toes the rubber
The pure white baseball gleaming in the not-too-hot sun
Before it is hurled to the plate toward Ryan Howard…

William
Guest
5 years 7 months ago

At last a rally against one of the fearsome four,
runners at the corners hoping for more.
The ponderous Fielder bangs bat on the plate,
the Brew Crew in the bleachers are pounding the gate.
Halladay delivers and there’s a smash to the gap,
but Utley reaches in time, ball entering mitt in a snap.
Chase whirls on a dime with a throw to J-Roll
who leaps Braun’s attempt to dislodge his soul.
With a twist in the air like a gray-clad dove,
Rollins whistles his throw to the heart of Howard’s glove.
The groan is collective from bleachers to box
We were hoping for presents and ended up with rocks.
Utley and Rollins and Howard all three,
Have squashed our darn rally and stolen our glee.
But perhaps off Halladay we can have but one bit.
At least we’re not the Reds and did manage one hit.

Matthew Kenerly
Guest
5 years 7 months ago

A quick first step, he ranges right
The two-hopper seems to have eyes yet
Jimmy Rollins closes with haste.

A flash of leather, then a leap
He leaves his feet, twirls and hurls
As only an MVP shortstop can.

A charging runner, certain to be a close encounter
Chase Utley storms the keystone,
Collecting the delivery with a golden glove.

A pivot, a whip-like throw
Utley hurdles the enemy with ease
And awaits the stroll to the dugout.

A split, made with no trouble
Ryan Howard, possessing unrivaled strength
Stretches to finish the twin kill.

A bang-bang play, the crowd erupts
The runner slams his helmet down, disgusted
While the trio delight in another victory.

BJones
Guest
BJones
5 years 7 months ago

A grounder to Rollins is fielded,
Tossed to Utley’s glove gracefully wielded.
He turns and he fires
While Howard perspires
And prays the ball’s caught and not yielded.

Albert Lyu
Member
5 years 7 months ago

I’m surprised no one’s used “Rollins-to-Utley-to-Howard at first”. Rolls off the tongue.

Diane
Guest
5 years 7 months ago

Umm … why are we waxing poetic on Phillies if the book is on the Rays?

dutchbrowncoat
Member
dutchbrowncoat
5 years 7 months ago

i want fans to sing songs the way they might sing about soccer players over in europe.

he ranges left and dives to his right
crushes baseballs with all of his might
keeps the mets fans awake every night
chase “f***in” utley, philly’s white knight

swings from both sides with just enough pop
swiping bases to make our jaws drop
led the phils as they rose to the top
jimmy rollins, the cream of the crop

hits lots of bombs but strikes out a ton
really knows how to drive in a run
makes the game look both easy and fun
ryan howard, he’s getting it done

utley and rollins with a double play
howard and utley hit as they may
rollins and howard make a fans day
tinkers and chance get out of their way

dutchbrowncoat
Member
dutchbrowncoat
5 years 7 months ago

and also because i am a mets fan and hate the phillies, here are some alternate verses…

striking out lots, a walking stink bomb
he couldn’t find a date to his prom
no one loves him not even his mom
ryan howard, a big fan of the nom

dutchbrowncoat
Member
dutchbrowncoat
5 years 7 months ago

overrated, don’t care what you say
sick of hearing of him every day
(his mvp was a crime by the way)
jimmy rollins, he can’t touch jose

dutchbrowncoat
Member
dutchbrowncoat
5 years 7 months ago


hate him so much that i almost swore
best on the field, i just cant ignore
come to the mets and add to our core
chase friggin utley, descendant of thor

evanpeck
Member
5 years 7 months ago

6-4-3

He leans at the plate
One out, two on base
And sees what there could and should be

There’s Jimmy at six
And Utley at four
And everyone knows about three

Still he spits at the dirt
And tucks in his shirt
Down one and one down at the tee

With Jimmy at six
And Utley at four
And everyone knows about three

But the house drowns in nerves
At the hang of the curve
That he saw and he swore he would see

And still Jimmy’s at six
And Utley’s at four
And everyone knows about three

And as the crowd cannot speak
The bat carves a sharp streak
And there’s dust and the crack of debris

And the fans scream out six
And the umps call out four
And the announcers cry out, “six-four-three!”

So the crowd yells and sways
And they call out the names
Of the three that they saw and will see

Because Jimmy’s at six
And Utley’s at four
And everyone knows about three

Kelsey Kiefer
Guest
Kelsey Kiefer
5 years 7 months ago

A Lowly Met Fan from Woodside:

In the shadow of Bernard Madoff
Where oft injured and overpaid players reside
I sit here dreaming of success
Just a lowly Met fan from Woodside

Success you say? Where can I find this?
I realize before anyone has a chance to reply
Of course it’s those hated Phillies
Where the Rollins-Utley-Howard trio is bona fide

You say that “clutch hitting” is a folly
But I tell you Keri, my eyes and ears do not lie
All I see is winning hits from these three
Every time breaking the score tied

Even with modern statistics
For which you tell me to rely
From WARP and VORP to FRAR and UZR
This darned trio from Philly always qualifies

If you go around the horn at Citi Field
Its mediocrity and overrated players I find
This is not the case in Philadelphia
Where those quick turning infielders take pride

So I sit here Jonah shaking my head
Looking at greatness found down interstate ninety five
I’m stuck in Queens with a losing team
Just a lowly Met fan from Woodside

BlueBleeder
Member
BlueBleeder
5 years 7 months ago

Slick, Roll, & Howard

They say that in Philly, it always is sunny
And they might be right, because this trio is money
While the slot at third, may be an open door
The other three are legit, let me tell you some more

The first hits and drops (F) bombs, with crowds not so small
We’ll kick it off here, with the slickest of all
Both glove and the hair, if I do say to subtly
Hey may the best, because he’s Chase F****** Utley

The next plays and is short, but boy he’s a stunner
There once was a time, he called phanatics phrontrunners
He’s won some “Au”, per the makers of Rawlings
And the fans they all love, J-Roll, Jimmy Rollins

The last one’s the biggest, of this I am sure
His namesake goes out with Kelly Kapoor!
When he’s not striking out, the pitchers they cower
For sub sandwich pitchman, the big Ryan Howard

Behold while you can, this trio with clout
And ignore the fact, one’s prone to sell out
Never will they, put Philly to shame
Because this trio belongs in the “Mmmm! Hall of Fame”

BlueBleeder
Member
BlueBleeder
5 years 7 months ago

Fixed a couple typos…

Slick, Roll, & Howard

They say that in Philly, it always is sunny
And they might be right, because this trio is money
While the slot at third, may be an open door
The other three are legit, let me tell you some more

The first hits and drops (F) bombs, with crowds not so small
We’ll kick it off here, with the slickest of all
Both glove and the hair, if I do say so subtly
He may the best, because he’s Chase F****** Utley

The next plays and is short, but boy he’s a stunner
There once was a time, he called phanatics phrontrunners
He’s won some “Au”, per the makers of Rawlings
And the fans they all love, J-Roll, Jimmy Rollins

The last one’s the biggest, of this I am sure
His namesake goes out with Kelly Kapoor!
When he’s not striking out, the pitchers they cower
For sub sandwich pitchman, the big Ryan Howard

Behold while you can, this trio with clout
And ignore the fact, one’s prone to sell out
Never will they, put Philly to shame
Because this trio belongs in the “Mmmm! Hall of Fame”

RjL
Guest
RjL
5 years 7 months ago

Rollins and Utley and Howard
Humbling brave foes into cowards
Ball up the middle, or in th’ hole
They turn two like it’s getting old
Retired the side, jogged off the field
And th’ worst part, their bats now they wield.

Wet Luzinski
Guest
5 years 7 months ago

Valdez, Martinez and Gload?
Phillies fans’ pants-soiling load!
As injuries mount
They’ll go down for the count
And the hand of four aces will fold.

Wet Luzinski
Guest
5 years 7 months ago

(Please indulge me on a second entry. Thanks to Albert Lyu, above. And Dr. Seuss. In your mind, the following needs to be read in the voice of the late Harry Kalas):

Rollins to Utley to Howard. At first
it seemed downright cheap: More prospects, and worse –
not the free agents fans wanted the Phils’ bosses
to slow down their march to ten thousand more losses.

Rollins to Utley to Howard at first
then became a new normal, in fact, pretty sweet
when they backed up the smack-talk: the new team to beat.

Rollins to Utley to Howard in first
on a team playing baseball in, of all places, Philly.
They’re winning so much that it just seems plain silly.
Now each September, there’s stuff to remember
all witnessed by fans, from babies to grannies
who flock to the park, all bringing their fannies.

They’re settling scores of decades before
And unbending the frowns of what-goes-around.
So sorry New York, and suck it L.A.
And you chumps in Atlanta: Oh, how we hoped you would pay
for that miserable decade, when worse came to worse:

Now we have Rollins to Utley to Howard at first.

James K.
Guest
5 years 7 months ago

No fan of the Mets holds esteem for the trio.
The Philly Three are loathsome, sayeth me-o.
The shortstop? Well, he is no Dave Hollins.
Nothing but bad luck I wish upon Rollins.
The haircut at second reminds me of a butt-ley.
Enough grease on your dome, Mr. Chase Utley?
The overpaid first sacker didn’t swing – what a coward!
The Subway sandwiches you hock are gross, Ryan Howard.
A plague on your Iso and BABIP I do pray,
So the Flushing Nine can once again have their day.

Lance Sayler
Guest
Lance Sayler
5 years 7 months ago

Three people as one
You know I ain’t lyin’
Brotherly love
name of Jimmy Chase Ryan

Ground ball to short
legs are flyin’
the start of another
Jimmy Chase Ryan

Two on and one out
Philly fans are cryin’
for just one more
Jimmy Chase Ryan

Superhero waitin’
Mets rally needs dyin’
high fivin’ to the dugout
with Jimmy Chase Ryan

twin killin’s look easy
ain’t no one denyin’
just need a one hopper
to Jimmy Chase Ryan

Another six four three
Phanatic is smilin’
On the way to a pennant
with Jimmy Chase Ryan

PTS
Guest
PTS
5 years 7 months ago

A crack of the bat
A flash of the leather
A series of events
To bring them together

Rollins will roll
And Utley will Chase
All Howard need do
Is stay in one place

The ball travels swiftly
’round the diamond to Ryan’s glove
A cheer erupts, lifting
The City Of Brotherly Love

Two more are now minus,
Six to four to three
By Rollins and Howard
and betwixt them Utley

Ja4ed
Member
5 years 7 months ago

A dive, a pivot, the homerun power
Rollins and Utley and Howard
October ’08, the World Series flooded, rain never abating
Rollins, Utley and Howard still boosted their ultimate zone rating
Amidst thunder and lightning, the final game spanned three days
Even an extra two percent could not help the young Rays
To their grandchildren the Phightin’ fans will tell
Of the final out, of the tears of joy that fell
And the sound of victory ringing from the Liberty Bell

Tom
Guest
Tom
5 years 7 months ago

With lefty power and switch hitting grace
Utley and Rollins set the pace
In the box or up the middle
These two never play second fiddle
If only Utley’s hair didn’t recall time gone by
And J-Roll’s crystal ball didn’t die
This pair would be worth
More than Montréal!

chrstn41
Member
5 years 7 months ago

First and second with one man down
A Met steps to the plate intent on a rally
A mere single here could win the crown
Victory assured with a shot to the ally

The pitcher looks in, checks, winds, and fires
A rip up the middle; smashed over the mound!
A sharp little lifts them out of the mire.
But all is lost with a faint, little sound

Rawhide on leather, to the Mets dismay
J-Roll flips to the pivot, then over to first
One of a thousand, a crisp double play
The comeback is over, the victory cursed

Oh those soldiers of WAR, greatness unmatched
Turn the fleetest of foot to sniveling cowards.
Foe after foe beaten, handily dispatched
By those frightful words: Rollins to Utley to Howard

chrstn41
Member
5 years 7 months ago

*Fixed

First and second with one man down
A Met steps to the plate intent on a rally
A mere single here could win the crown
Victory assured with a shot to the ally

The pitcher looks in, checks, winds, and fires
A rip up the middle; smashed over the mound!
A sharp little hit lifts them out of the mire.
But all is lost with a faint, little sound

Rawhide on leather, to the Mets dismay
J-Roll flips to the pivot, then over to first
One of a thousand, a crisp double play
The comeback is over, the victory cursed

Oh those soldiers of WAR, greatness unmatched
Turn the fleetest of foot to sniveling cowards.
Foe after foe beaten, handily dispatched
By those frightful words: Rollins to Utley to Howard

Matt
Guest
Matt
5 years 7 months ago

Three names for which Mets fans feel nothing but hate,
Rollins to Utley to Howard.
Athletic a-field, and scary a-plate,
Rollins and Utley and Howard.
An infield unTinkered since 2005,
At Citizens Bank, forEvers they’ll thrive,
Another Chance at the Series is for which they strive,
Rollins to Utley to Howard.

Harry Robbins
Guest
5 years 7 months ago

The Best of Our Times
By Harry Robbins, with a bow to Franklin Adams

It is Rollins to Utley to Howard,
the best in the history of Phils,
who with superb grace, range and skills,
gave us a plethora of thrills
as opponents with double-plays soured.

O, grim the sad batters glowered,
Senators, Mets, Braves, Marlins in pall,
for with joy and great glee we cheered your fall
as with undeterred bounces the ball
went to Rollins then Utley then Howard.

One other combination has towered,
both as World Champions and in our hearts,
Bowa, Trillo and Rose, kings of their arts.
Yet fine as they were, in sum of their parts,
better Rollins and Utley and Howard.

Ah, you fans of the old red stripes on white,
so privileged to live in the hour
of the finest double-play of our time,
that of Rollins to Utley to Howard.

Francisco Merejo
Guest
5 years 7 months ago

Some People May Say.-

Some people may say that the Phillies today
Resemble the 90s ferocious Braves
In that pitching is king and second to none
And defense is just the paper in a brilliant score

Some people may say that Rollins today
Resembles the old man of Hemingway`s tale
In that he spent 84 days without catching a fish
And people forget how great he still is

Some people may say that Utley today
Resembles a nun in a cheap cabaret
In that the oddity is not that she is in such place
But that such place was so lucky to have found her way

Some people may say that Howard today
Resembles a classic 67 Corvette
In that you know its value may be overpriced
But you know is all worth it when you hit the gas

Some people may say that an infield today
Should look like Picasso`s art in display
The Phillies infielders provide that aura
With the gloves of Rollins, Utley and Howard

Some people may say that defense today
Resembles a candle in some kind of way
In which some wax and a wick are waiting to ignite
A bunch of debates destined to die

Some people may say a lot of things today
That resemble a lot to what others have said
But as long as we play this beautiful game
The defense will be the pitcher`s best friend

Harry the R
Guest
5 years 7 months ago

Just a Game?
by Harry the R

Batter steps in shakes, twists, settles,
bat still.
Runner, swiftest on his team
takes an enormous lead,
outstretched
and
breaks for second.
Pitcher, committed to the batter,
drives homeward with his leg to thrust the ball low and fast
with spin to snap curve downward as it strikes swung bat.

A ground ball! Toward the hole!
Hope,
for there is J-Roll
who backhands it,
pirhouettes,
there is no other word for his dancer’s grace,
to throw perfect and hard to Slick
who seems to hang in the air,
a grande jete,
on his pivot
to whip arm the ball into the outstretched glove of Big Six,
who splits in a horizontal arabesque,
just before the batter crosses the bag.
The rally is killed,
again.
The ball has swung around the diamond in an arc of finality,
again.

Batter defeated,
demoralized,
dirties the air with his obscene shout of frustration
then kicks the ground.

The fans erupt in a standing ovation
with full-throated approval
of the swift wonder of play
so accurate,
so graceful
they feel in the presence of artistic genius as it creates.

This has happened
before
often
yet each time the Rollins to Utley to Howard work is performed
it is new and brilliant.

May this call echo through the streets of Philadelphia forever
past the time and the game
a rally cry
to encourage efforts of skill and beauty and creation.
“Rollins to Utley to Howard!” says Whitey,
says Harry the K.,
a thousand times we say,
“Rollins to Utley to Howard!”

Joe Tetreault
Member
5 years 7 months ago

An Open Letter to the Editor-in-Chief of NotGraphs
CC: Carson H Cistulli – FanGraphs Poet Laureate

Greetings fellow literary baseball nerd,
Jonah Keri may be on the phone, but in this instance he is off the mark. The collected verse of baseball is not recorded in dusty tomes. It has not been scrawled on parchments scrolls. It has not been stored as a series of little ones and zeroes for generations future to marvel and behold. No, kind sir, the collection of baseball verse is instead an aural tradition. The lyric majesty of great calls infuses our game, while stirring our soul. The legacy of Tinkers to Evers to Chance lives to this day not because the poets found other topics on which they could wax rhapsodic. But because their choruses of hosannas were instead voiced and not penned. Consider the particular vexing comment Keri makes of the dearth of odes to Trammel and Whitaker. Ahh but there were. Many thousands of such poems. whispered nightly into the ears of lads in the greater Detroit metropolitan area.

Grounball to Trammell,
He flips to Whitaker, throws
To first – double play!

Seventeen syllables in perfect five-seven-five order, uttered hundreds of times if once by the late great Ernie Harwell. We forgot the ancients, the Scullys, the Gowdys, the Allens, whose voices dripped with honey and who smoothly retold the events before them. They are accursed by their progeny who interrupt their catchphrase based banality (It’s an A-bom from A-rod!) only to finish a reader card (The next time you’re in New York, you gotta go to Mo’s) supplied by an advertiser who cares not about the lyric edification of fans.

I remain sincerely yours,
Joe Tetreault

mattymatty2000
Guest
5 years 7 months ago

Rollins-to-Utley-to-Howard: (to be read as “There once was a man from Nantucket”)

Rollins-to-Utley-to-Howard
The first the ball he’d devour
He’d dive and he’d throw
And put on a show
But on-base ain’t within his power.

Rollins-to-Utley-to-Howard
The second a basemen overpowered
He could pick at the dirt,
‘n shoot rockets to first
But his ankle he’d break in the shower.

Rollins-to-Utley-to-Howard
The last was known highly powered
He’d crush a ball fast,
but to pick up his ass
Well, he couldn’t out-race a flower.

Rollins-to-Utley-to-Howard
Together Philadelphia they empowered
To hit throw and catches
Their only known matches
Sadly don’t rhyme with “Howard”

Jonah Keri
Guest
5 years 7 months ago

The winner of a signed copy of The Extra 2% is…

BlueBleeder, with this stellar entry:

http://www.fangraphs.com/not/index.php/sad-lexicon-fangraphs-poetry-contest/#comment-13590

BlueBleeder, please contact me at extra2percent @ gmail to claim your prize. Congrats!

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