Secret Society

Frank Thomas has always maintained he never took steroids and for the most part, he’s been one of the few sluggers from the steroid era who is believed to be clean. Wednesday, in an interview on 670 The Score’s Boers & Bernstein Show, Thomas said he “had no idea” steroids were being used as much as they were. “I’ll be honest with you. It was a secret society,” Thomas said. “I had no idea.”
CBS Chicago


US President George W. Bush discussed Iraq, the November elections and the war on terrorism in an interview broadcast Sunday [Feb. 8, 2004] but laughingly stonewalled a question about his university secret society. “It’s so secret, we can’t talk about it,” he told NBC television when asked about the fact that both he and the Democratic frontrunner, Senator John Kerry, are members of Yale University’s Skull and Bones.

Logical conclusion: George Bush and John Kerry used steroids.

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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

2 Responses to “Secret Society”

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  1. Danmay says:

    “It’s so secret, we can’t talk about it.”

    So, you’re saying it’s a secret then, aren’t you?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. Toasty says:

    Additional conclusion: Frank Thomas 2016.

    Vote -1 Vote +1