Seven Substantial Boners That Aren’t Merkle’s Boner

Merkel
Not everyone is amused by all these boners.

Monday represented the 105th anniversary of Merkle’s Boner, the baserunning error committed by then-New York Giants rookie Fred Merkle that ultimately allowed the Chicago Cubs to win the National League pennant en route to their last World Series victory.

Below is a list of seven other notable gaffes from baseball’s rich and storied history.

1846 - In early edition of official base-and-ball rulebook, a very hungover Alexander Cartwright omits any mention of second base.

1890 - League conspires for over 50 years to segregate the sport along racial lines. “What a boner!” it announces awkwardly in 1947, following entirely brilliant debut season of Jackie Robinson.

1958 - Cubs promotional literature commemorating 50th anniversary of Merkle’s Boner accidentally refers to original event alternatively as Merkle’s Throbbing Member and Merkle’s Veiny Member.

1985 - Area little leaguer Jeremy Johnson, who no one really liked anyway, mistakes mouse dropping for brown M&M. Instead of singling in next at-bat, dies of hantavirus.

1986 - When asked by AL East rival Don Mattingly if that’s a chicken drumstick in his pocket or Wade Boggs is just happy see him, the latter replies only “Yes” — and is not lying.

2009 - In August, FanGraphs announces initiative to hire more Italian-Americans. Abandons said initiative next day when first hiree endeavors to destroy reputation of site immediately.

2011 - German chancellor Angela Merkel supports austerity measures for Greece, a move that’s popular politically among Germans but likely not the most expedient means to resolving that country’s fiscal troubles or the Eurozone crisis, generally. The maneuver becomes known to almost no one as Merkel’s Boner.




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Carson Cistulli occasionally publishes spirited ejaculations at The New Enthusiast.


9 Responses to “Seven Substantial Boners That Aren’t Merkle’s Boner”

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  1. Boof Bonser says:

    It’s “Angela” not “Andrea,” Cistulli, you boner.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. Don says:

    Area little leaguer, indeed.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. tz says:

    Dingers > boners

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. Gyre says:

    ’1890 – League conspires’
    Not the league, but the autocratic commissoner KM Landis, may he RIH

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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