Shorter Baseball Columnists!

It’s time for another installment of “Shorter Baseball Columnists,” in which we read mainstream baseball columnists and marginalized bloggers like Murray Chass so you don’t have to! Let us begin!

Shorter Jim Souhan: Joe Mauer would be a lot tougher if he had Jim Souhan muscles instead of Joe Mauer muscles.

Shorter Bill Plaschke: I don’t care what anyone else says, but Frank McCourt did not, under cover of darkness, murder Vin Scully and Tommy Lasorda.

Shorter Dan Shaughnessy: You might think that what’s going on with the Dodgers has nothing to do with the Red Sox, but please remember that everything has something to do with the Red Sox.

Shorter Wallace Matthews: I just looked at Jorge Posada’s splits for this season.

Shorter Murray Chass: Tyler Kepner of the Times interviewed Roberto Clemente’s biographer on the subject of Clemente. I interviewed a buddy of mine from junior high. Advantage, me.

Shorter T.J. Simers: This is quite possibly Jamey Carroll’s fault.

The “Shorter” approach to Internetty commentary traces back, as best as one can tell, to Daniel Davies.

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Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.

5 Responses to “Shorter Baseball Columnists!”

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  1. Todd says:

    Ha – love this

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  2. Bob Tufts says:

    When do we get the shorter Dayn Perry?

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    • Dayn Perry says:

      How’s this? “I looked up some numbers, which led me to the following opinions.” You can pretty much plug that in for anything I do.

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  3. Yirmiyahu says:

    That Jim Souhan piece is just a malicious hatchet job. I won’t bother to read the rest. Thank you, Dayn, for shielding us from these writers.

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  4. Dan says:

    Probably the best recurring feature on here

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