Shorter Baseball Columnists!

Introducing “Shorter Baseball Columnists,” in which we read mainstream baseball columnists and marginalized bloggers like Murray Chass so you don’t have to! Let us begin!

Shorter Jon Heyman: The Giants are upset about Buster Posey’s injury and would like to see some rule changes. That won’t happen. Also, Pablo Sandoval is on The Twitter.

Shorter Murray Chass: In some ways, Carlos Santana — the guitarist, not the catcher — is like Pete Rose. In other ways, they’re really not that similar.

Shorter Dan Shaughnessy: It occurs to me that there are some random, unconnected and perhaps meaningless connections between the Red Sox and Cubs. Fortunately, these connections are sufficient in number to last an entire column.

Shorter Wallace Matthews: Bartolo Colon has been good this season. But when he sits around the house, he really sits around the house. Know what I mean?

Shorter Bill Conlin: I recently received some stupid emails about the Phillies.

Shorter Bill Plaschke: I refuse to stop talking about the Lakers.

Shorter T.J. Simers: Don Mattingly sucks.

The “Shorter” approach to Internetty commentary traces back, as best as one can tell, to Daniel Davies.




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Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.


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Mr. Met
Member
Mr. Met

Can this please become a regular feature?

Kool
Guest
Kool

He’s not on Twitter anymore :(

Kaufmak
Guest

best. feature. ever.

Carson Cistulli
Admin
Member

The only downside to this, Dayn, is I’m forced to imagine you reading all these articles.

It’s not the HIGHEST form of martyrdom, but it’s not inconsequential, either.

WTF?
Guest
WTF?

You Bill Conlin entry was missing: “When I’m king of the world…….”

Not Jason Whilock
Guest
Not Jason Whilock

Damn thing got done

Mike B.
Guest
Mike B.

The Jawas of the baseball world, indeed. Well done.

christina
Guest
christina

I thought this was going to be about Ken Rosenthal.

Chris B
Guest
Chris B

Me too.

ThomasTSKH
Guest
ThomasTSKH

The Jon Heyman one didn’t make mention of Luis Castillo, so I know you didn’t read it. (NOTE: I didn’t read it)

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