Siberian League Recap for February 12th

Siberian Baseball
Current All Stars of Siberian League.

Today was great day in Siberian Baseball League. Due to pleasant weather conditions, only seven games canceled! Here is recap.

In Novokuznetsk, it was close affair, but home team prevailed over Wolves. Not baseball club Wolves — actual wolves, I mean, which invade city with crazy hunger for human flesh.

Due to mining disaster, club from Kemerovo has had trouble recently. Their best player now four-year-old girl. She is maybe to be sold for prostitute, though.

Elsewhere, team from Omsk accidentally go to Tomsk, while team from Tomsk to Omsk. Said best player from Omsk, Jaromir Shlemenko: “God is cruel. Life is terrible. I die now.”

Tomorrow is big game for Novosibirsk. Their best player is on disabled list with addiction to Krokodil.

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Carson Cistulli has just published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

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Sgt Buzzkill
Sgt Buzzkill

It’s a laugh to poke fun at how non-native speakers compose English sentences