Fake Sitcom Pitches for MLB Network

MLB Network should have a night of sitcoms. I’ve done them a favor and come up with some ideas. Vote for your favorites and for anything that gets a substantial number of votes, I’ll write up a whole ridiculous treatment with some episode summaries and a sample scene or two. It’ll be fun. And silly. If you have better ideas than the ones in the poll below, add your own answers!




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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.


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Jamee
Guest
Jamee

Pretty sure the Red Sox will have a sitcom called “How I Met Your Manager” before too long.

Lucas
Guest
Lucas

Maddon’s Men: a look inside the stylish life of the Tampa Bay Rays.

Jack
Guest
Jack

SeinFuld: A sitcom about Sam Fuld doing nothing.

Resolution
Guest
Resolution

Whichever sitcom is going to feature the most zombies and sexy women is my suggestion.

MTUCache
Guest
MTUCache

So, like a mash-up of “The Walking De Aza” and “Jason Bay Watch”, eh?

I like it… needs some Ozzie Guillen flavor though.

Choo
Member

Dude, the Will and Grace show could be high-larious in a Perfect Strangers sort of way.

GRACE, hair disheveled wearing only boxer shorts, standing in kitchen, dumps box of cereal into bowl as…

WILL excitedly enters room holding shotgun, wearing full camo: “I thought about what you said last night, Gracey, and you are a genius.”

Camera changes to nonchalant GRACE pouring two cans beer into his cereal bowl (some genius!).

WILL shakes head, “Anyway, you are right. Shooting a few wild pigs is exactly what we need to get out of our slump. Let’s go hunting”!

GRACE, with mouthful of cereal/beer, mumbles something like: “Banging.”

WILL, in motherly tone: “Gracey, you know it’s impolite to talk with your mouth full.”

GRACE, mouth no longer full: “Will, I said we should go BANG a few wild pigs.”

WILL: “Gracey, a true outdoorsman would never say ‘bang’ ha ha, but bang, shoot, what’s the diff-”

FAT GIRL #1 scantily enters room, walks up to GRACE, kisses him on cheek: “Thanks for last night, Marky. Did you have as much fun as I did?”

GRACE: “Tons.”

FAT GIRL #2 enters room.

GRACE: “Two Tons to be exact.”

WILL: “Gracey!”

debater12
Member
debater12

Giancarlo and Molly

jaw
Member
jaw

2 Broke Hurlers (starring Mark Prior and Chris Carpenter)

Mike Adams’ Family

M*A*S*H (starring Mark Reynolds and Adam Dunn)

My Two Vlads (Starring Vladimir Guerro and Vladimir Nunez)

Frasor

steex
Member
steex

Let me be the first, then, to pitch AfterMASH – a show about Mark Reynolds and Adam Dunn farting around the house after they are no longer able to take walks or hit homers.

jaw
Guest
jaw

Ironically, I almost put down “After MASH” but I thought that would be too obscure.

steex
Member
steex

In addition to voting for some of those shown here, I propose The Matthew Cody Moore Show.

Resolution
Guest
Resolution

Miami Price

agam22
Guest
agam22

It’s not a sitcom, but I think they need some sketch comedy as well.

The Kids in the Bill Hall

Well-Beered Englishman
Guest
Well-Beered Englishman

Now that just sounds wrong.

Choo
Member

The Hitless Wonder Years, starring the Seattle Mariners circa 2010-2015 who, like Fred Savage, never quite get to second base.

Eight is Not Enough, starring Bobby Valentine and the Boston Red Sox bullpen.

Elijah Dukes of Hazzard, rated M for Mature.

airfigaro
Member
airfigaro

Eight is Not Enough would be a horror show to some

ettin
Guest
ettin

Malholm in the Middle

Matt Zakrowski
Member

Park Factors and Recreation.

reillocity
Guest
reillocity

I’m torn between “Park Factors and Regression” and “Parks and Procreation”.

Well-Beered Englishman
Guest
Well-Beered Englishman

“Pinstripe Pajamas” tracks the wacky hijinks of three All-Star infielders who are forced to move in to the same New York apartment together. As they discover comical clashes in personalities, try to win the hearts of the same two girls by pulling serious but not malicious pranks on each other, and compete for the affection of upstairs neighbor Jeremy Lin, the three infielders learn valuable lessons about love, companionship, and how loud the party can get before somebody complains.

Featuring Becki Newton as the hard-to-get girl who thinks she’s above all of them, John C. McGinley as the tough-as-nails landlord, and, beginning in season two, Fred Willard as the shortstop’s live-in deadbeat father.

PrettyRicky
Member
PrettyRicky

Mad Nenn: Either Rob Nenn ranting about things in talk-show format, or Rob Nenn as a suave, womanizing 60s man with a secret.

DavidJ
Member
DavidJ

The Front Office

Now that he’s moved to Colorado, Michael Scott gets a job with the Rockies.

Zio Fani
Guest
Zio Fani

Welcome Back Kottaras, The Beverly (Aaron) Hill-billies, Sanford and (Tommy Han) Son, The Roland Office, South (Chan Ho) Park, Full (J.R.) House

steex
Member
steex

You might also consider pitching a morning show called “Tabata Mornin’.”

Jake
Guest
Jake

Two and a Half Nen
The Fresh Prince Fielder of Bel-Air
S*** Ozzie Guillen Says
The Big Hurt Theory
Pronk in Cleveland

deadhead
Member
deadhead

Welcome Back, Kottaras – Former back up catcher, George Kottaras returns to his old team, only this time, he is the full time back stop. He tries to impart life lessons on the teams rambunctious rookies with his quick wit and Catskills style sense of humor. The manager, who doesn’t like catchers or rookies (and especially rookie catchers!) does all he can to undermine George but to no avail. The wise cracks and “catch”phrases fly non stop in this throw back to the 70s.

olethros
Guest
olethros

Sex in the Cities, starring Derek Jeter and Starlin Castro

willmc1366
Member

Molinas!

the three molina brothers are forced to live together in an apartment

hilarity, obviously, ensues

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