Someone Taught Curtis Granderson the NotGraphs Handshake


Many of the voices in this author’s head considers NotGraphs to be the Skull and Bones of Internet Baseball Writing, mainly in that it’s secretive and pointless. But it’s our club, damn it, and we’ll be damned if we will have some millionaire baseball player steal our secret handshake and show it to some minor-leaguer on broadcast television. J’accuse!

Take solace, fair reader, in the fact that Mr. Cistulli and I will work non-stop next week when we meet in Arizona to devise a new secret handshake. Then, if you meet one of us in person and try to perform the old handshake, we can have you arrested for assault, which was our goal the whole time. Have fun in jail, dummy.

(h/t Mike Axisa)

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David G. Temple is the Managing Editor of TechGraphs and a contributor to FanGraphs, NotGraphs and The Hardball Times. He hosts the award-eligible podcast Stealing Home. Dayn Perry once called him a "Bible Made of Lasers." Follow him on Twitter @davidgtemple.

12 Responses to “Someone Taught Curtis Granderson the NotGraphs Handshake”

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  1. Alex Rodriguez says:

    He stole that move from me!

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  2. Nevin says:

    and then he ravished you?

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  3. John Elway says:

    The only reason he didn’t get called for offsides is that it’s only pre-season. Should have at least yelled “Omaha” a couple times to make it look like an audible or something.

    Maybe the Mets should trade for Russell Wilson, just to give Granderson some pointers and a little rah-rah pep talk. Just neighin’

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  4. Josh Gropin' says:

    Nice technique.

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  5. Jenstrom says:

    That’s a pretty homoerotic secret handshake, boys. Who came up with it, Dayn Perry?

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  6. Johnston says:

    Does anyone have any idea what Granderson was trying to do?

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