Someone Taught Curtis Granderson the NotGraphs Handshake

grandersonhandshake

Many of the voices in this author’s head considers NotGraphs to be the Skull and Bones of Internet Baseball Writing, mainly in that it’s secretive and pointless. But it’s our club, damn it, and we’ll be damned if we will have some millionaire baseball player steal our secret handshake and show it to some minor-leaguer on broadcast television. J’accuse!

Take solace, fair reader, in the fact that Mr. Cistulli and I will work non-stop next week when we meet in Arizona to devise a new secret handshake. Then, if you meet one of us in person and try to perform the old handshake, we can have you arrested for assault, which was our goal the whole time. Have fun in jail, dummy.

(h/t Mike Axisa)



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David G. Temple is the Managing Editor of TechGraphs and a contributor to FanGraphs, NotGraphs and The Hardball Times. He hosts the award-eligible podcast Stealing Home. Dayn Perry once called him a "Bible Made of Lasers." Follow him on Twitter @davidgtemple.


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Alex Rodriguez
Guest
Alex Rodriguez

He stole that move from me!

Nevin
Guest
Nevin

and then he ravished you?

John Elway
Member

The only reason he didn’t get called for offsides is that it’s only pre-season. Should have at least yelled “Omaha” a couple times to make it look like an audible or something.

Maybe the Mets should trade for Russell Wilson, just to give Granderson some pointers and a little rah-rah pep talk. Just neighin’

DerekJeterGiftBasket
Guest
DerekJeterGiftBasket

Nicely put, Elway. Hey, we should strap on the ol’ feed bag sometime.

John Elway
Member

NEIGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Josh Gropin'
Guest
Josh Gropin'

Nice technique.

Jenstrom
Guest
Jenstrom

That’s a pretty homoerotic secret handshake, boys. Who came up with it, Dayn Perry?

James K.
Guest
James K.

Kaz Tadano.

Johnston
Member
Member
Johnston

Does anyone have any idea what Granderson was trying to do?

Curtis G.
Guest
Curtis G.

Flirt

Resolution
Guest
Resolution

You know when you have to play charades and the phrase you get is: “Prostate exam courtesy of the visually impaired”?

FANTASIA MCADDAMS
Guest
FANTASIA MCADDAMS

OH IM SO HOT AND BOTHERED

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