by Carson Cistulli - July 31, 2014
Credit to David Laurila for his assistance.
Drafted/signed by the Indians.
Jacob Rogers was drafted by the Red Sox in 2008, he didn’t sign but later got drafted by the Cubs and is currently in their minor league system.
First names, too? Harsh.
I’m giving myself a three-out-of-five, a respectable barely passing. The good kind of passing, not the sort of passing NotGraphs will be doing soon.
Isn’t passing 70% or better?
Doubront, Rizzo, Kalish….
Okay, now that I can see the two less-obvious answers…. What about Michael Bowden? He was traded along with Cervenka. I see he hasn’t pitched in 2014, but is he still in the Cubs organization?
Playing in Japan!
He answered your questions and you call him a murderer? Jeez… that’s just really… APPROPRIATE!!!!
American History is littered with tales of great men returning from france not just as great men, but as enlightened men. Carson Cistulli is not one of those men.
One might surmise that I am calling into question Cistulli’s greatness or possibly even his level of enlightenment but those assumptions would be incorrect. Rather, I am calling into question Cistulli’s sex.
Now that’s hitting below the belt.
Not that it’s not deserved.
If Kris’s suggestion is accurate, hitting Cistulli below the belt won’t have much of an effect.
Ummm, ladies also feel pain. And have clusters of nerves and blood vessels in their nether regions that are highly responsive to physical stimuli. I have it on good authority that if you strike a lady below the belt, she too will feel pain, almost like a real human being.
Despite my phd in love making (CUNY, 2007,) I do not claim to be a scientist, let alone a scientist of Kinseyean aptitude. I am in no place to pass judgement on whether or not Mr. Cistulli’s testicles have always been in a jar on his wife’s nightstand or were at one point attached to his being.
I can however say with great certainty that if gender is indeed a social construct, we can rightfully declare Cistulli to be a ovulating little princess.
the mighty Lars Anderson
What about ex-Red Sox now playing for the A’s? Lester, Crisp, Moss, Reddick, Lowrie, Gomes,…
Also, apropos of nothing, why do we all assume it was France that warped the mind of Carson and led to this horrid decision to execute NotGraphs? I was in Germany for several weeks this summer and will happily testify that the combination of $.50, 1/2 liter bottles of beer and random Germans yelling about their World Cup win (in German the term for World Cup Champion translates best as World-Masters, Weltmeister.) Combine beer that’s literally cheaper to buy than water and a culture of arrogant world mastery and what do you get? A man that returns to America drunk and determined to crush his enemies, see them driven before him and hear to the lamentation of the women…
So THAT explains Banknotes Harper?