Spotted: The Author, Almost Supporting Team Italy


In an attempt to associate himself with something that is both larger and more sexy than his own person, the author has decided he will support Team Italy, which plays at 3pm ET against Mexico, in the World Baseball Classic.

Understanding, however, that naked displays of nationalism are irksome — and also that he is less real Italian, and more of what comedian Mike Birbiglia would call an “Olive Garden Italian” — the author has decided to express his support in the form of a comedy t-shirt (one which, in fact, appears to be officially licensed by the Rocky movie franchise).

That his life is a constant apology for itself, the author is entirely aware.

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Carson Cistulli has just published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

10 Responses to “Spotted: The Author, Almost Supporting Team Italy”

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  1. Benzedrine says:

    Frank from Bayonne probably feels the same way.

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  2. Byrne says:

    Anthony from Passaic approves.

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  3. Well-Beered Englishman says:

    “Oliver Garden”

    Suddenly I imagine dining at a theme restaurant wherein all the servers are adorable little soot-covered English scamps.

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    • jcxy says:

      How far the East End has come. Once filled with Dickensian chimney sweeps earning just enough for a forcemeat pie rife with disease, now 20 somethings with neck tattoos frequent craft gastropubs and posh Indian takeaways.

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      • Well-Beered Englishman says:

        In 2010-11 I lived across the road from the poshest Indian takeaway I’ve ever seen. They delivered curry to your door on a motorbike, sure, but at outrageous cost. Chicken curry for about US $16. Even naan bread cost US $4 per serving.

        Damn delicious though. I wish hipsters didn’t like such good grub.

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    • Upon returning to my home, I’ve now made the relevant edit here.

      Who’s a soot-covered English scamp now, hm?

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  4. Maverick Squad says:

    Hardly a surprise that Carson would not support the US team – traitor.

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  5. DD says:

    I’ll have the pasta Fag-E-Oly please.

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