Spotted: Unnecessarily Pensive Red Sox Fan

Not even Picasso during his very famous Blue Period was able to capture the sort of angst that the above-pictured Red Sox fan was caught emoting during the fourth inning of a game at Wrigley Field yesterday. That said fan is surrounded by rows of empty seats — very obviously a metaphor for Conditions, Human and Otherwise — only heightens the feeling of isolation.

There’s a strange thing about this scene, however — which, let’s see if an Annotated Photo brings to light what I mean.


Indeed, our fraught subject appears to be at a game between two teams not his own — one of which (the Cubs) is superbad in the least Judd Apatow-y of ways, and the other of which (the Giants) won a World Series, like, 24 hours ago (using Venus hours, I mean, on account of that planet’s days are much, much longer than Earth’s).

Apropos the point you’re forming in your head this minute — the one that goes something like, “Cistulli, don’t you even know that it’s possible to become emotionally involved in a game not involving one’s own favorite team?” — allow me say, “N’doy.”

Apropos the second point you’re forming — the one that’s more like, “Cistulli, is it possible that you’re making a mountain out of a molehill?” — allow me say “Anything is possible” and also “Please excuse me. I have to return some videotapes.”

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Carson Cistulli has just published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

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El Guapotron
El Guapotron

This has got to be the same guy:
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Even the glasses are identical.