Submit Questions for Wholly Unnecessary Dayn Perry Podcast

Dayn Dayn

Dayn Perry and the present author are recording a Question Time™ edition of FanGraphs Audio at 1:30pm ET tomorrow (Friday).

The reader is invited to submit a question for Perry — who is probably drunk and should definitely go home — in the comment section below.



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Carson Cistulli has just published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.


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Chris Cwik
Member
Member

How did it come to this, Dayn?

Youthful Enthusiast
Guest
Youthful Enthusiast

You’re totally getting banned for this one

Froglegs Jackson
Guest
Froglegs Jackson

How does one proceed after reaching rock bottom?

AnthonyRizzo_Jackass
Guest
AnthonyRizzo_Jackass

Does a bear shit in the woods?

War2d2
Guest

Dayne, it has come to my attention that Cistulli has been polluting the fair pages of Fangraphs with the gutter tongue of the quisling Vichy regime. My question to you, Fair Patriot Brother: what are you going to do about it?

Sweep The Leg
Guest
Sweep The Leg

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Erix
Guest
Erix

Question time!?

Kyle
Member

Generally, how intolerable do you find the act of writing? Do any specific posts come to mind that were noticeably impossible to execute? Any that were surprisingly pleasant?

Resolution
Guest
Resolution

Dayn, do you respect me less for listening to podcasts?

BrassTacks
Guest
BrassTacks

Dayn, what fuels your rage? Have you ever thought about funneling this into other productive outlets? What would these outlets be?

PrettyRicky
Member
PrettyRicky

Soon Cistulli will be going to Paris for a year. Will you house-sit for him while he lives his skinny-armed liberal fantasy? How many righteous, turn-of-the-century parties can we expect you to throw? You know which century I mean.

olerudshelmet
Member
olerudshelmet

How can one house sit for the homeless?

fhyrew
Guest
fhyrew

Dayn, how do you feel about extreme obstacle course/endurance races (e.g., Warrior Dash and Tough Mudder), and the popularity thereof?

mattc
Guest
mattc

Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last?

KabaModern
Guest
KabaModern

Is there any scenario one can imagine where the ends do not, in fact, justify the means?

John Boy Walton
Guest
John Boy Walton

Women be shoppin’

this has been a comment
Guest
this has been a comment

Name every county that the creek runs through.

The Elusive Nipple Play
Guest
The Elusive Nipple Play

What gives you the right?

olerudshelmet
Member
olerudshelmet

Mind your tongue, sir. This type of question has been known to cause trouble.

Play Tennis & Fornicate
Guest
Play Tennis & Fornicate

Desert island, what are your 3 movie and/or book choices?

Also, how about screaming some Cinderella for our pleasure.

Chaco Chicken
Guest
Chaco Chicken

Why does it burn when I urinate?

Eli
Guest
Eli

What is the acceptable level of profanity and/or tobacco use in the dugout for a highly-respected t-ball coach such as yourself?

DavidJ
Member
DavidJ

If your life depended on winning a version of the $25,000 Pyramid that had baseball (instead of Hollywood) personalities as its celebrity guests, which 1980s C-list major leaguer would you most want as your playing partner?

Dick Clark
Guest
Dick Clark

This is just an outstanding $25000 Pyramid reference. Truly the zenith of the form.

Mr. Observant
Guest
Mr. Observant

Dear Dayn,

A sex-drenched command arrives from on high from Appleman. In it, he commands you to beat, to the death, one writer at Fangraphs with a clenched, flag-drapped soupbone. My question is, will the Cardinals win the WS this year? Or, put another way, which writer will die at your hand and why was this writer chosen?

MikeS
Guest
MikeS

Why can’t we have nice things?

James
Guest
James

Dayn, can I trick-or-treat at your house this Halloween? And if so, what kind of candy might one expect to receive at said establishment? Love, James. P.S. Pixie sticks are the worst.

js2
Member
js2

Would would win a dance off between dayn’s arch patriots vs carson’s comedy troupe?

js2
Member
js2

Who would? But other way is fine too if you so prefer.

jcxy
Guest
jcxy

How will Old Charlie Manuel spend his retirement?

Lower-Back Tattoo
Guest
Lower-Back Tattoo

Please share your favorite mlb uniform and explain why its so appealing to you. Also, the ugliest.

jemima puddleduck
Guest
jemima puddleduck

Do you practice santeria?

Benzedrine
Guest
Benzedrine

Who would you rather fight? 1 Mo Vaughn or 5 David Eckstein clones?

urgent matter
Guest
urgent matter

Your thoughts on Perfect Polly™ Motion Activated Singing Parakeet?

DisDayn
Guest
DisDayn

Seriously Dayn, are business and fucking constantly warring with each other inside you?

A Man of Wealth and Taste
Guest
A Man of Wealth and Taste

I am in the market for a watch. Do you prefer the Royal Oak by Audemars Piguet or the Nautilius by Patek Philippe?

Or should I instead spend that money on cocaine and use my smartphone like a pleb?

Meyer Wolfsheim
Member
Meyer Wolfsheim

Did John F. Kennedy really have sex with women other than his wife?

jcxy
Guest
jcxy

In the great Bergman film, The Seventh Seal, the Knight endeavors to outwit Death by playing him at chess. If you found yourself in that situation, which board game, drinking game, or pastime do you think would maximize your chance or winning?

Helen Lovejoy
Guest
Helen Lovejoy

Won’t somebody please think of the children?!

Iraqis for William Faulkner
Guest
Iraqis for William Faulkner

Two part question: to which country would you go outside of the United States, and what one object do you take?

Eric André
Guest
Eric André

How high is the sky? How high is the sky?

Choo
Member

Dayne, I was struck with an idea for an inspirational t-shirt this morning. Instead of YOLO (you only live once), how about YOL9x (you only live nine times) and have an image of a cat. My question is about the cat image. Which do you prefer?

A) the face of a cat, just looking like a stupid cat.
B) a cat engaging in a daredevil maneuver.
C) Andres Galarraga.

James K.
Guest
James K.

D) Johnny Mize

Tobias
Guest
Tobias

I always seemed to end up on all fours.

leeroy
Guest
leeroy

Which general manager which you most like to witness negotiate a major league baseball contract with Jay-Z?

olerudshelmet
Member
olerudshelmet

Dayn,

You must form a tag team with a member of the of the Fangraphs stat. Who is your partner, what is your tag team name, and would you be able to defeat the Minnesota Wrecking Crew?

Ludwig Wittgenstein
Guest
Ludwig Wittgenstein

Remember me?

canuckassassin
Member
canuckassassin

Have you ever been to Dan Symborski’s torture porn dungeon?

kdm628496
Member
kdm628496

have i told you lately that i love you?

but seriously, what is your opinion on people who attend such gathers as the saber seminar? nerds or baseballing heroes?

Thee Bruce Dickinson
Guest
Thee Bruce Dickinson

Can I play with madness?

diegosanchez
Guest
diegosanchez

what is your favorite pokemon and why?

jett
Guest
jett

I would like to know what your honest assessment of Carson Cistulli the poet is: Which of his works did you read? Which did you not read? What was your impression of said works in comparison with other contemporary poets?

Also – if possible – could have a dramatic reading of some of Cistulli and/or Perry’s most memorable poems?

Thank you.

-Jett

Danny Knobgobbler
Guest
Danny Knobgobbler

Dayn,

You left the listener hanging with your last health status update. I was beginning to wonder if there would ever be another Question Time, due to the simple fact that the man providing the answers may no longer be with us. So I see that you’re still alive, but for how long? Weeks? Months? Remainder of average life expectancy of Mississippi born male?

Shiskabob
Guest
Shiskabob

What is it that allows you to so ably let out all of the hate that you have in your heart?

Maverick Squad
Guest
Maverick Squad

Boxers or briefs? Or neither? Or both?

Jake
Guest
Jake

I want more Banknotes Harper stuff?

Ronnie Belliard
Guest
Ronnie Belliard

Is it truly better to have loved Eric Gagne’s changeup and lost it, than to have never loved at all?

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