Texts From My Cousin

* Oakland scoreboard gives the strangest info. Currently showing: Seth smith July (career totals) 6hr/26rbi. that’s it.

* Derek Norris is batting .364 in the 7th inning in 2012. more highly predictive info from the oak scoreboard.

* Remember how 1Bs used to be plated on first when receiving a throw? Now it almost seems theyre stepping towards the throw.

* Looks like 1bs are gettin away with pulling their plant foot off the bag before the catch is made.

* Batting gloves and personality types. Any chance the guys wearing the classic but modest franklin gloves more plate patience than the flashier and padded mizuno

* Oh and the new sexy nike gloves group

* Bare is rare. Wonder how many guys still go gloveless

* Melky had manny pants. ever notice caminiti, bonds, manny, melky, etc went xtra baggy. Is it the size of the quad that makes the pants so huge near the ankles?

* Load dip, cross yourself, spit dip everywhere, base hit, point to the heavens, spit dip again, score run, more christian gang signs, more mouth tobacco

* Baseball is life: kids in the $200 seats behind 1st and 3rd learn that baseballs r handed to them, kids in the $7 OF bleacher seats learn to scrap it out

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Graphs: Baseball, Roto, Beer, brats (OK, no graphs for that...yet), repeat. Follow him on Twitter @enosarris.

12 Responses to “Texts From My Cousin”

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  1. Well-Beered Englishman says:

    1. Your cousin rocks.
    2. Aren’t all scoreboards like that? Even I, a loyal saberthusiast, have caught myself encouraging friends when they say to me things like “aha! Morgan Ensberg is batting .483 with two outs and RISP in the 8th inning or later!”

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  2. Choo says:

    Weekly NotGraphs Ballpark Correspondent? Not sure which I enjoyed more – the batting glove theory or the Christian gang sign tobacco rant.

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  3. bowie says:

    “Morgan Ensberg is batting .483 with two outs and RISP in the 8th inning or later”
    Come on — that information is useless. We would need to know how close the score was in those situations before deciding if that .483 was his true talent level.

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  4. Micah Stupak says:

    Let’s get a kickstarter going to keep Eno’s cousin going to a weekly ballgame (preferably of sub-.500 teams, as the quality of the on-field product is inversely proportional the amount the mind wanders).

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  5. Ben says:

    Holy shit, maybe he’s onto something with the pant size observation.

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  6. Nathan says:

    That’s exactly what the scoreboard at Comerica is like. New Yankee Stadium is a little better but pretty much the same.

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  7. Andrew says:

    These are so great. I second that this needs to be a thing. Get this man some more tickets!

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  8. Bip says:

    That one about dip is literally poetry.

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