That Tickle in Your Loins is the Expanding Glory of Bret Boone

Watch this here 2 minutes and 3 seconds of shameless advertisement executed by none other than soon-to-be veterans-committee-elected Hall-of-Fame second baseman Bret Boone.

Why, these days, Ol’ Booney is hocking jerky and catching softballs. But when it comes to treating ladies, he plays hardball. “Cracked pepper for ladies!” He bellows between mead gulps. “And original for me!”

“Ooh,” say the entranced womenfolk, “whither can I acquire me some of that fine jerky?”

But they already have a plateful of Brandt’s Beef Jerky. It’s up to us to read the subtext.

This video obviously comes to us via the clammy hands of managing editor Dave Cameron.




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Bradley writes for FanGraphs and The Hardball Times. Follow him on Twitter @BradleyWoodrum.


6 Responses to “That Tickle in Your Loins is the Expanding Glory of Bret Boone”

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  1. Dan Rozenson says:

    Stay tuned for Aaron Boone’s two-minute ad for meat slurry.

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  2. Brian says:

    so wait…. hookers like beef jerky?

    And I’m just supposed to believe that after a bad call at the plate, that a very specific kind of rage wouldn’t take over Bret Boone?

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  3. Jake says:

    So Bret Boone is the spokesman for something without growth hormones? riiiiiiight.

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  4. cb says:

    He never got the third out.

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  5. MacMariner says:

    What is this?!? Awesome.

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  6. reillocity says:

    That seems like a very typical MLBTV commercial for residents of Hades.

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